No Memory Lane Monday this week (hire me!!!)

I didn't have time to write a MLM post this week becuase I was too busy flipping out about a casting call notice I recieved in my e-mail inbox at the end of last week. It was calling for an enthusiastic female video gamer with writing, improv and hosting experience. I am all of those things. The best part? The company posting the casting call was DeFranco Creative! That's right, SourceFed is hiring hosts, you guys!!! 

 

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Boyfriend and I have been saying for over a year that it would be a dream job to work at SourceFed for one or both of us!  I need this chance. Boyfriend put up a host reel for me on YouTube, and a friend of mine might possibly be able to get in touch with Phil, but it's iffy at this point. I feel like I would be a perfect fit for them at SourceFed. I love Meg and Trisha and Joe and Lee and Phil. I'm pretty sure they'd love me too if I could just get an audition.

But that's the tough thing about the showbiz biz. You have very little control of what happens to you up to a certain point. I sent in my submission via the casting service, Boyfriend edited and threw my reel up online for me, and my friend is trying to track down his contacts at DeFranco to say "Hey, you totally need to give this girl a second look and audition." But beyond what I've already done, I just have to wait at this point. I hate waiting. I'm not asking for charity or for this job to just be handed to me. I just want a chance to show them what I can do.

So, come on, universe!  Let's do 2014 right!!!
If anyone out there has any connection to Philly D, would you please point him to my blog?

Memory Lane Monday: Life on Set, and Why I'm a Ninja

I keep saying to myself, "Jess, we need to get back on a more consistent blogging schedule." Myself usually responds with something like, "You know, you're right, we've been lazy as hell lately, let's start writing immedi- ooo look a new video game!"

I can't blame laziness entirely for my falling off the blogging wagon. I had a very busy weekend at work, and then I had to get up before the ass-crack of dawn last Monday to go work on an episode of Boardwalk Empire. It was a great day. I woke up at 3am, took a shower, got dressed, made coffee and left my apartment to go catch the courtesy production bus that would take me to holding and set in Staten Island. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said it was a great day, either. Yes, waking up at 3am is crappy no matter how early you go to bed the night before, but normally a day on set lasts at least 10 hours, and is more likely to be a 14+ hour day. But this day was awesome. I spent almost 3 hours in hair, make-up, and wardrobe, and less than an hour on set before they wrapped us for the day and sent us home. This was an almost unheard of short day. It rocked. And dammit if I didn't look super cute!

3 hours baby! Three. Hours.

On Wednesday I helped out as a production assistant on a low-budget indie web-series called Ghost Light. Boyfriend was the Director of Photography and our friend Neil was directing. I was there to provide general assistance, but I mostly ended up babysitting the slow-as-molasses sound operator. In his defense, he was using professional-grade equipment that was borrowed from another friend of ours, and had never worked on a set before. Nonetheless, dude moved slower than frozen honey in a glass jar, and the stakes were pretty high for this production. They had 5 days to film 8 episodes in this great old theater in NJ called The Barn Theatre. That was it. No do-overs, no option for re-shoots. Nada. So saying that time was of the essence was a bit of an understatement and something Sound Dude clearly missed the memo on. He also had no sense of spacial reasoning, he hit Boyfriend in the head with the boom at least 9 times. He got tangled in his own cables and would stand in frame every time we set up a shot. No observational skills, you guys. None. So, it's a damn good thing that when I'm in the right place at the right time, I'm in the god damn right place at the god damn right time. But I'm getting ahead of myself...lemme esplain:

This was a very low-budget project. We had two lights. Expensive lights. Hot lights. These lights are hooked to telescopic stands so they can be raised and lowered as needed. These stands are fairly light-weight so they are easy to move, but when the lights are on them and they are raised to a height of eight feet, they become slightly top-heavy. You mix this with Sound Dude who has no spacial reasoning, and you get a disaster. Unless you have a P.A like me who turns into a ninja after her third cup of coffee!

I'm totally getting this on a t-shirt, you guys!

Sound Dude cut in the middle of a take because he needed batteries or something, so everyone paused what they were doing, holding their positions so we could be ready to continue as soon as the batteries situation was taken care of. I was standing in front of one of the aforementioned lights  on the edge of the stage, holding the boom cable so that it wasn't a tripping hazard for anyone (i.e Boyfriend, Neil, and Sound Dude.) Sound Dude, apparently oblivious to his proximity to the light stand puts down his equipment and knocks the light stand completely over. There was a collective gasp that rang out in the quiet theater, and like the mysterious bad-ass love-child of Spiderman and a Kunoichi, I reached diagonally back behind my body and caught the stand with my left hand (my non-dominant hand, thank you very much) and with just enough leverage to prevent the light itself from smashing onto the concrete house floor. Did I mention I did all of this while still holding the boom cable with my other hand? The ashen fearful looks on the producer and assistant director's faces quickly melted into relief once I put the light stand upright again, and applause from everyone else on set made me feel like a god damn hero.

In this picture, you can see the light I so badassadly caught. For perspective, the guys in this picture are all 6 feet or taller.

Not to beat a dead horse or anything, but two nights later at the wrap party, everyone was still talking about how awesome it was that I caught that light.

So, the long and short of last week is: I got to spend lots of time on set and I'm a mother fuckin ninja! 

Exciting News! (UPDATED)

It's been another crazy week! My show opened to a couple of nice reviews (neither of which got all the facts right but that's ok, who needs to know the correct spelling of my name or the correct title of the show anyway?)

Also, my friend Tom wrote a book! The Grand Adventures of Inspector Toadius McGee is a fun young-adult detective story filled with humor, mystery, and even some romance. It's available on Kindle for 99 cents right now and will be available on Nook and iTunes shortly. Hopefully, it will also be in print in August. I'm very proud of him and I really love the book, and I know I'm a little bit biased, him being my friend and all. 
But, I couldn't be more excited for Tom.

So, what are you waiting for? Go buy the book!

UPDATE
7/22/13: I got another positive review! Yay!

I'm Melting

If you're in the Tri-State Area right now, you are probably melting like me. It's fuggin' hot, people! (fuggin = muggy + fuckin') It's awful here. I'm so happy this is my last summer in NY and I'm so happy I get to be inside most of the day today instead of outside working in the sun. Although, thanks to my job, I do have a small tan for the first time in a decade. But I digress...

My show opens tonight!!!! I'm starting to get a little nervous. I might need to take some anti-anxiety meds on top of the allergy medicine and the couch suppressants I'm already taking because of my allergies that have appaerntly turned into a sinus infection. 
Bleh. I hate NY in the summer sometimes. Anywho...

Have you guys gotten the new Mii Plaza update on the 3DS and/or the 3DSXL? It's flippin great! I plan to write a short review very soon, so keep a look out for that! But for now, I just wanted to check in and tell everyone to stay cool!

My show opens tonight. OOOOOOOOOMYYYYYYYGOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!

*hyperventilates

In Other News...

I've been absent from my blog quite a lot recently due to my being in a play and (by some amazing timing) I'm also back working a "real job" again for the summer. Boyfriend and I were starting to sweat the money situation big time recently especially since we're moving to L.A. in October. Wait- I didn't mention that yet? Crap. Where is my brain?
Well, long-story-short, Boyfriend and I have grown tired of the grind that is living in NY and we are moving to Los Angeles in October. It's time for a change. Um...yeah...the end.

Anywho, I've been very preoccupied, obviously, but I wanted to write a quick post today because my good ol' buddy Justin (whom you may remember from Vash and Justin) was in an awesome video last week about the current console wars. It's pretty damn brilliant. Please to enjoy:


 
I'll return for regularly scheduled blogging in the next week...hopefully.

Memory Lane Monday: Merry Christmas! (White Liars Style)

Two weekends ago, Boyfriend and I participated in The 48 Hour Film Project with our friends, The White Liars. Neil and Andrew, our intrepid leaders, recieved the assignment on Friday at 6pm. Each team was assigned a genre -ours was vacation or holiday movie- a specific prop -a trophy- and a specific phrase -"When do you expect her"- which were all required for the film. Then we were turned loose and had exactly 48 hours to write, produce, edit, and score said film and turn it in to the festival producers. We did it with about 4 hours to spare last Sunday. All of us bruised (mostly me) battered (again, mostly me) and sleepy managed to crank out a pretty damn good short film. So good, in fact, that we were voted the Audience Favorite of our screening group last night! 
 

It was just like this, you guys.

 I am super proud of all of my friends who came together to collaborate so wonderfully on what could easily have been a train wreck.
Our fantabulous writer (and star) put it best in his lovely Facebook note to us:

So I'm awake now and just wanted to let everybody know how cool last night was for The White Liars. During the talk-back after the screenings when the filmmakers were asked how working under a 48 hour time constraint challenged us, I realized that it challenged us to get our shit together. Neil Fennell and I spent weeks leading up to this project working out how we wanted the weekend to go, blocking out times for writing, shooting, scoring, editing, securing our team, and apart from a few expected "unexpected" glitches everything moved ahead because of that preparation. What makes it really kind of magical is the rest of the team. Matthew Van Bockern, Lisa Mamazza, Melissa Dennis, Melissa Smith Andersen, Jess Ayers, Jarrett Sullivan, Dylan Myers, Melissa Rosenberger, Adam Pate, Joshua Michael Sausville, Erik Frandsen, Chelsea Vendette Lopez, and Sky Seals. How everybody did their jobs so damn well and without question or complaint after being up for far more hours than we're used to is a big part of the success of this film. What made it cool was that everybody in that theatre last night had a similar experience with their team, and after putting a well deserved check next to their own movie, put one next to ours. We know the love and devotion that goes into our films and projects, but it's really cool when other people see it too.

OK, sorry for the rant. Enjoy "The Friday Before Christmas"
-Andrew Harriss


So, without further ado, please to enjoy our 48 Hour movie.  
(If it won't play, you can click the link above.)

Memory Lane Monday: The post I'm not allowed to Write

Yesterday I did some work on a new film that is coming out next summer. But, since I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement, if I tell you about it, I could get in trouble and probably blacklisted from working on movies again. So, I'm posting this to say, sorry for no Memory Lane Monday post today! 

But, I can tell you that the scene I was in looks like it's going to be pretty awesome. Also, I can say that the movie's current working title is London Calling. I'll let you use your Google-fu to do any snooping for information that I'm not allowed to give away. But I will be sure to post about my super cool day on or around May 2, 2014.

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Memory Lane Monday: I Was on The TVs Again!

Does anyone watch SMASH on NBC? *spit* 

Anyone? 
Anyone? 
Bueller? 
Frye?

(Yeah, me either.)

Anyway, I did background work on an episode of SMASH in October of last year and it aired last week. Yay! It was a long day of shooting and standing around in a hot room doing nothing, but it was a ton of fun too. I got to actually meet and have a conversation with Sean Hayes and he is delightful! He introduced himself to me and the other actors near him in the scene and was so funny and super fun to work with.

Boyfriend edited a little video compilation of me in the scene, complete with narration from my squeaky sick voice. Yay!
Not as exciting as my Person of Interest episode, but still fun. Enjoy!

And Then I Caught a Cold From Leonardo DiCaprio

I got to work on Martin Scorsese's new film The Wolf of Wall Street last Friday. To say that it was an amazing experience would be an understatement.

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My call time was 6am at a hotel in midtown. (I need to be somewhat vague about details because I have to honor the film's privacy. I don't want to get black-listed for being a chatty-Cathy.) When I got to holding, I assumed since the filming had been going on since last year, that I'd just be doing some B-roll crowd shots and junk. Amazingly, though, an AD came into our holding area after we'd been there for a couple hours to let us know how things worked on a Scorsese set, and how we were expected to behave when he was on set.  So first cool thing: I was actually getting to work on set with Martin Fucking Scorsese! "Marty" (as he goes by) expects absolute silence on set at all times and absolutely no cell phones and no picture-taking. If you broke these rules you would be kicked off set immediately and told to go home. Marty runs himself a tight ship. Then they sort of did a run-down of the scene and mentioned Leo. Second cool thing: Leonardo DiCaprio was in the scene we were filming! O. M. G. So, I got to spend all day in a room watching/working with Leo and Scorsese. Holy shit. I thought this alone would have been awesome enough. But it got a little bit better.

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As with most background gigs, there is a lot of waiting around doing nothing in between takes and shot setups. This gig was no different, except that there was definitely more excitement in the air than usual just because the vast majority of us had never worked on a Scorsese film before. Even so, I came prepared with my iPod, books, magazines, and my 3DS to fend off the boredom. Also, to stay awake. See, I was so pumped about working on this movie and so apprehensive about waking up early, that I could not for the life of me settle down and actually sleep Thursday night. I ended up just laying in bed until I had to wake up at 4am. Le sigh. I was so stupidly tired all day.

When it was time to go to set, everyone was buzzing about like intoxicated bees. The PAs quickly shushed us and lined all of us up to go take our places on set. Thankfully, the scene was a business seminar (sorry, gotta be vague, no spoilers) in the ballroom of a hotel which meant we all got to be sitting down. (Standing on set for 14 hours gets really old really fast.) Unfortunately for anyone sitting more than 7 rows back, they probably were not actually seen on camera. But, thems the breaks, kids. Fortunately for moi, I was in the 6th row on the aisle when it came to the group face shots, so I have a better chance of actually being in focus and seen in the film for about 3 seconds. But, I digress. 

Like this, except with Leo and Scorsese.

Once we were all placed and starting to get kind of antsy, Marty walked in. No fanfare. No introduction. Just boom there he was. A small wave of stunned silence washed over all of us in the room followed by quiet murmurs and excited whispers. I've honestly never worked on a set that was so quiet. It was kind of eerie at first, but by the end of the day I wished all sets could be quiet like this one. Marty chatted with his Director of Photography and other crew, then he turned and gave us a little nod and went to the back of the room behind a curtain where video village was set up. 

Then, Leo showed up. The ladies in the room were a little more vocal when he walked in -no one screamed or fainted or anything- but it was pretty balls-to-the-wall wonderful. Now, I want to make it clear that I've never been gaga in love with Leo. I've always thought he was easy on the eyes, but I've respected him and been impressed by him as an actor more than anything else (I mean did you see What's Eating Gilbert Grape?!) but never been head-over-heels in love with him. Even the year I went through my Bop and Tiger Beat faze and adorned my walls and closet doors with cute boys, I maybe had one pic of Leo in the mix (my heart-throbs of choice were Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Johnny Depp. Lord, I'm old.) Those pictures on my walls were quickly replaced with Star Wars posters and other geekery, but, again, I digress. 

I told you all this in the hopes that you can understand how impressive it is in the presence of Leo when he's working even for someone who isn't obsessed with him. It was amazing to see him switch from producer mode back to Leo mode and then right into his character in the blink of an eye. Boom producer talking film stuff with Marty. Boom Leo dicking around in the corner drinking some tea. Then BOOM in character and acting the pants off of everyone in the room (not literally, unfortunately.) He has this amazing presence. It's commanding but very calm and comfortable. I could spend hours in a room with him and feel amazing. Oh wait, I DID.

During one of the first takes we did, he was saying his lines, talking to the room, standing maybe 15 feet in front of me when he locked eyes with me and stared at me for a good beat while he was emphasizing something. I will say that again: 
Leonardo DiCaprio STARED INTO MY EYES! 

Again, I'm not gooey in love gaga about Leo, but when he locked eyes with me it was like he was speaking directly to me and no one else for that moment and I almost peed my pants, you guys. My whole body went hot and tingly like I was having a panic attack or like my blood sugar was low, but it was just every nerve ending in my body celebrating at once and then exploding my mind.

Seriously, it was like this, you guys.

And then my body melted. I literally felt like jello the rest of the day. Maybe it was the fact that by the time I actually went to bed that night, I'd been awake for nearly 36 hours, but I'm pretty sure it's because Leo fried my innards with his movie star eyes and his awesomeness. But I stayed in character even with all the melting and exploding.

In all seriousness, it was a once-in-a-lifetime super cool day for no other reason than to watch two amazingly talented legends in the film industry do what they do best. I got to sit and watch them work. I got to observe and learn from them. And I got paid for it. Nothing like being paid to stare at Leonardo DiCaprio all day, huh? I have the coolest fucking job ever. And did I mention that this was my first time working on a feature film? That's right, my first time working on a feature and it was a Martin Scorsese picture. God. Damn.

Oh yeah and the best part? Leo had a cold or a sinus infection or something. So, that mixed with his smoker's cough spewed millions of germy germs all over the lovely enclosed space we all shared for 14-ish hours. Now I have a sore throat and the sniffles. 
I blame Leo. 

Totally. Worth. It.

Memory Lane Monday: It's Still Monday, right?

Hi.
Remember Memory Lane Monday? Remember when it used to actually be posted on Monday? Me neither.

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I'm stuck in some sort of calendar vortex right now, or at least that's what being awake for nearly 36 hours with 1 hour of sleep will make you feel like. I'm not 100% sure what day it actually is right now. Lemme splain:

I had the good fortune to book acting gigs on 2 consecutive days this week- something that has never happened for me before. Yay.  Gig #1 was on Monday and my call time (the time I had to be there) was 12:30pm, which is a very late call for a Monday shoot. I was playing an upscale charity auction attendee on the show Person of Interest. After I arrived at Holding (the place where everyone who doesn't have a trailer waits until they're needed on set) got checked in, got my hair and makeup done, got into costume, and then I waited. And waited. I waited for 8 hours until I was called to set. 8. Hours. This is not uncommon. Seriously.  Anyone who thinks working in production is glamorous and super fun 100% of the time, is silly. Working on TV or film is mostly a process of hurry up and wait, then do some stuff, then redo it, redo it again, stop, wait, wait, wait, redo it again, stop, go wait, etc. All day. But I love it...most of the time. 

Luckily, my friend Lincoln was also cast in this episode and so we got to hang out all day when one or both of us weren't on set. Yay! We read, listened to podcasts, and mostly just shot the shit, which was nice. We also got silly and took an "awkward prom photo" in our costumes.

Copyright Jessica Ayers

But, the best part of the shoot was during the climax of the particular scene we were in, I got to sit next to Jim Caviezel. JESUS. I got to sit next to Jesus* you guys!!! This was awesome for a couple of reasons:
1) I was sitting next to Jim Caviezel who is a very impressive presence and actor, and B) It most likely means that my awesome face was on camera and will be coming to a television screen near you sometime this fall. This experience alone made the whole day worth it.

Now, I come to the down side of production work, aside from all that waiting. I didn't get home until 1am and I had a call time for my second shoot at 6:30am. So on top of getting home at 1am, I had to shower all the shellac off of me that the makeup and hair departments sprayed on me plus I had to get my wardrobe/costume stuff together for the second shoot. Needless to say, I slept for approximately 1 hour before I had to wake up and go downtown to do it all over again for gig #2. 

Bright and early Tuesday morning, I worked on an episode of a new police drama entitled  Golden Boy. I don't know much about the show even though I have now worked on it twice. I do know that the crew is a wonderful group of people who are fun to work with and I'd like to work on the show again. Even so, Tuesday morning was rough. As soon as I was all checked in, in costume and given my prop, I had to go to set. No time for breakfast or coffee.  Boo. Also, we were shooting outside and it was a disaster scene taking place in late summer. No coats, and lots of running. Oh, yeah, and it was 40 degrees outside and most of the women were in heels or boots. Joy. The wardrobe department was kind enough to provide everyone with hand, toe, and body warmers, but the warmers don't do much when you're only wearing linen and standing in the shade on a cold clear morning in the middle of winter near the river. Brr.  It was so cold, I thought I'd never be warm again.

Tuesday was a looooong day to say the least. We did finally get to eat after 7 hours of shooting, but not before I felt like my entire body weighed 1000 pounds and I had the sensation that I was sinking into the slowest moving whirlpool ever. Sleep deprivation is a bitch, you guys.  On the plus side, Chi McBride was very generous and bought everyone really good coffee. That man is a class act.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I got to go home. I was home by 5:30pm and made it my goal to stay awake until at least 8:30pm so that my sleep schedule wouldn't be thrown off any more than it already was. I decided to play video games to keep my mind engaged enough to stay awake. After playing games for what felt like hours, I looked at the clock. It was 6:45pm. My head almost exploded.  I lasted another 30 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore and my body screamed at me to go to bed.  You know you are sleep deprived when even your favorite video games can't make you stay awake.

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It is currently 9:30pm. I've been awake for 7-ish hours today. I think. It's like the strangest hangover ever.  And that's why Wednesday is the new Monday.



*I've never actually seen The Passion of the Christ. But Jesus, you guys. JE. SUS.

White Liars Wednesday: The End

This episode went up last Wednesday, but with all the Turkey-themed happenings not a lot of people have had the chance to watch it and I didn't have a chance to share it much. I enjoyed working on these 2 seasons so much. There were times when we were too hot, too cold, too tired, too sick, too sore, or too hungover to feel like filming another moment. But thanks to some hilarious writing and some awesome motivation and direction by our fearless leaders, we made it through. I'm so proud of all of the people I am fortunate to call my friends who contributed to this production; I was able to see everyone grow as artists and entertainers. I've never had more fun playing a character that nobody (and everybody) liked.  Thanks to Andrew and Neil for making me a part of this project. I will miss it!

So, without further ado, the final episode of White Liars:

White Liars Wednesday: Shit(bird) Gets Real

As Season 2 nears its end, things heat up for Tim and the former High Society Predators cast. Plus, Mary gets more than one line in this episode! She gets a whole slew of them!

 

White Liars Wednesday: Halloween Edition

Episode 5 of White Liars dropped today! Hurricane Sandy may have destroyed a lot of my city, but Boyfriend and I are a-ok. We never lost power and thankfully our water is still safe to drink, but we haven't gone outside to survey the damage in our neighborhood yet. The subways are still shut down so I have no way of getting to work, so Happy Halloween to me! Boyfriend and I and several of our friends will go out on the town this afternoon dressed as DC characters. I will be going as Ravager. I'm super excited, so pictures and a report of the festivities are still to come! But, for now, enjoy Episode 5 of White Liars. Enjoy Samhain tonight and stay safe everyone!

 

White Liars Wednesday!

I plan to be at New York Comic Con this weekend, so this might be my last post for the week, and it's not even a real post. This morning, the second episode of White Liars went up and you should watch it.  I'm not in this episode, but I will show up very soon. Enjoy!

And Then I Almost Rage-Quit the Internet



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 I promise this will be my last post about trolls...this week. Do I go out seeking trolls? No. Sometimes they find me, and sometimes I stumble across them. Most of the time I try to take the high road and ignore them, but today, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  I could not stay silent. I was doing some research into joining SAG-AFTRA and looking into getting a loan to pay my union dues and joining fees since my eligibility status is about to change to a "must join" status (remember how I was freaking out about that a while back? I'm better now. I promise.) I had some questions this morning that I couldn't find answers to on the union's website, so I turned to my good ol' pal, Google.  I found a great article in Backstage, but it didn't answer my questions. I turned again to Google.

I came across a blog post by a man named Art Lynch.  In his post, he referred to people who don't join the union immediately as "scabs" like we're less than the all high and mighty union members because we have chosen to delay joining for one reason or another. I personally have worked hard to become eligible to join the actors' union. There is no road map for success in the entertainment industry. While I'm not yet where I want to be in the industry currently, I took a big step up this year.  To quote Frank Sinatra, "I did it my way." For someone who acts like he's so professional and such an expert in this area, Mr. Lynch's blog post is littered with misspellings, poor grammar, and a general air of undue superiority. I wrote (what I think was) a fairly rational argument in his comments section. I doubt he'll approve my comment, so I will share it here on my turf.


My rebuttal to Mr. Art Lynch:
This stance on union-eligible actors seems closed-minded and pompous. I am proudly union-eligible and I got that way through a Taft Hartley, and I have every intention of officially joining the union as soon as possible.

But my definition of "as soon as possible" doesn't sound immediate enough for you based on your post. I am almost at the end of my eligibility period where I "must join" but there are plenty of logical reasons why I am not joining yet. Elaborating on what Anonymous said, if I join tomorrow, then I can no longer accept non-union jobs/theatre jobs to build my resume and my reel. While I am thrilled to be union-eligible, and I have worked very hard for years to get to this point, I know that joining now might not be the wisest decision. I want to develop my craft more, expand my resume and make sure I have a decent reel before I join. Otherwise, it will make it that much more difficult to get work. Who wants to hire a union actor who has no union credits? 

Also, I don't know about you, but $3000 is a helluva lot of money for me. It's more than I make in a month at my "real job" so joining SAG-AFTRA immediately is not even remotely possible right now from a financial standpoint. Last time I checked, my landlord and the grocery store don't accept SAG-AFTRA union cards as valid payment.

While I'm sure there are a handful of actors out there who become eligible to join the union and then "milk" it and/or attempt to abuse the system or "tarnish the brand" that is SAG. But it's ridiculous to assume that everyone who is eligible who doesn't join immediately is like this. I'm sure there are also plenty of naive actors who join the union or buy their way in as soon as possible without enough experience or credits to their name, or without strengthening their own brand - thinking that their union status alone will guarantee them an agent and work, and rocket them to fame and fortune, and that they don't have to work hard to achieve success. Again, I'm sure these types are few in number, and I bet they don't last long in this business.

So, excuse me for continuing to stay on my "selfish" SAG-E path until the timing is right for me to officially join. I am proud to be eligible. I am proud of the hard work I did to get here.  Maybe you should take a second and get off of your high horse and see what SAG-AFTRA has to say about joining:
"...don’t be in a hurry to join unless you are sure that you're ready to compete as a professional. For performers, you should prepare yourself by studying, performing in plays and non-union on-camera projects in order to build your resume and gain valuable experience. The time to join is when it makes sense for you. (Everyone's) situation is different."

Who are you to judge when it's right for someone else to join?



And then I rage-quit the internet
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 After replying to Mr. Lynch's post, my hackles were still up and I wanted to keep "SAG-AFTRA Eligible" on everything of mine just out of spite. But, then I became curious as to how other "professionals" in the industry felt on this topic. I found another post talking about union eligible actors that expressed a similar opinion to Mr. Lynch, but I think this second one was worded more practically and didn't come across as a direct lashing out and attack on actors like me. Then I found a very logical list of reasons from a casting director regarding why putting "SAG Eligible" on a resume is not always a wise career choice.  While, these other two posts have a similar opinion as Art Lynch, they approach it in a much more mature fashion. Because of the second two posts, I plan to remove the "eligible" label from my resume and website until I'm officially ready to take the union plunge.  The second two posts made logical and valid arguments, not a hoity-toity temper tantrum. I'm not claiming to have more knowledge than this Art Lynch fellow, if his resume is up-to-date he has had an extensive career and I'm sure has obtained a vast amount of knowledge that he is clearly trying to share with everyone.  But, what he posseses in knowledge, he lacks in tact.

Today's lesson:Trolls aren't just for geeks anymore.  Also, if you are Trolling to try to get people to agree with you, it most likely will not have any positive affects. Don't poke people with a stick and scream "Listen to me, I'm important!"

Wheaton's Law!!! (My Friday battle-cry.)

On that note, everyone enjoy this happy puppy; it's Friday!

TBIF: Thank Boo it's Friday!

White Liars Season 2

The trailer for White Liars Season 2 dropped today! This season is funnier and we had so much fun shooting it. Please enjoy and get acquainted with Season 1 if you haven't seen it yet!

Adventures in Show Business

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As a (trying-to-be-working) actor, and as most actors, I subscribe to several websites/online networks that list casting notices. These notices include big-time union films or TV shows, local theatre, indie films, and (mostly) student films. 

Oh, student films...you are a double-edge sword. If it's a well-done film, awesome! You now have a small piece to put on your reel, but no paycheck. If it's a not-so-well-done film, (*cue Price Is Right fail music*) then too-bad-so-sad, you just wasted your time and talent on a sorry waste of space that you pray will never see the light of day.

This all being said, I just HAD to share this latest character description I just received in my inbox.  Keep in mind, this is what is supposed to entice me to submit my head shot and resume to be considered to audition, also I have not changed the wording, grammar, or the format.

 Character: The Prostitute- You will act the prostitute. PLEASE NOTE THAT in the story you give the customer a fellatio. but you do NOT actually give him anything. he does NOT even take off his pants. if you have clothes like the one in the movie taxi driver, it will be great.

Did you see it? Did you see the train wreck of words happen right before your very eyes? Let's break it down now.

Thank you, director. Thank you for telling me that i will be acting, just in case I was unsure what i was signing up for when subscribing to a "casting notice" and paying a monthly sum to do so. But let's get to the real heavy-duty tragedy of this here description. Now, I don't consider myself an expert in sexual acts, but how does one person give someone else "A fellatio" exactly??? Technically speaking, the word fellatio is a noun-according to Webster-but how awkward is that phrase?! Did you ever take an English class young man? (Please, you know a dude wrote this...that and his first name is on the casting notice.) I think the slightly more grammatically correct and less awkward way to phrase that is, "...the character will perform fellatio on a male customer." But maybe that's just me being nit-picky.

What is my favorite part about this student film character description, you ask? It's a toss-up, but I'm definitely leaning towards the part at the end that tells me to dress in "clothes like the one from taxi driver." The grammar nerd inside of me is screaming violently about proper nouns, and qualifiers and quantifiers, but I won't go there right now, lest grammar nerd takes over and this becomes the longest blog post ever about something so, so stupid. Instead, my question is, which clothes are you speaking of, dear, dear director? There are lots of clothes in Taxi Driver.

There's this lovely ensemble.
Columbia Pictures

But you were probably thinking of this one, all covered in blood, right?

Oh, wait! That's right, this role is for a female prostitute. The director was probably referring to one of the outfits worn by the 13-year-old prostitute in the film, portrayed by the lovely and talented Jodie Foster. But based on the director's description, how would one know that unless they were familiar with the film? Any actor worth their salt is familiar with Taxi Driver, but any actor worth their salt is probably not going to give this student film description a second glance, yet alone submit for casting.

This 13-year-old is more talented than I might ever be.

What is my other favorite part about this casting notice? The fact that the director/student has clearly specified that the actress he casts will not actually be doing any sexual acts. PHEW! I was so worried there for a minute. I was concerned that were I to get cast by this kid who is not paying me, in his film that is going to be used solely for educational/school purposes, I would actually be required to give some stranger a BJ for the sake of this kid's grade. Wow.  Thank you for clearing that up.  Dodged that bullet, didn't I?!

It kind of makes me question what people learn in film school.  I mean, do they explain to young wanna-be directors that what you see on the TV/film screen isn't actually happening? If you read any interview with an actor who has filmed a "love" scene, they will mostly all say what an uncomfortable and not-sexy experience it is.

Lesson 1: This girl is not actually a prostitute, kids.

And this man is not actually a taxi driver.

What I guess I'm trying to say is, use grammar and spell check, kids! Also, read your sentence out loud to someone else before you publish it. If you don't put out quality, you probably won't get back quality. Short-story-long: I did not submit for this casting call, mostly because of the grammar and sentence structure, but also because I've already portrayed enough prostitutes and I'm looking to expand my character choices, but that's another story for another blog...

Insert picture of me looking like a prostitute here.

(Sorry, I couldn't actually find one.)

U is for Uncolored Un-truthers



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Ok, so un-truthers is not really a word, but for all intents and purposes of this blog post, it is now!
I've mentioned before that I'm also an actor. It's what I went to school for, it's what I still enjoy doing, and my dream career would be something incorporating my love of video games/nerdy stuff, writing, and performance (much like my newly-appointed mentor, Felicia Day.) So this is another post about pimping out my friends and their/my creative projects.  Don't feel obligated to give to their Kickstarter campaign just because I'm in it (I know you all love me so much...all 3 of you reading this right now.) We're all starving nerds/artists right now, I get that, but if the video Imma bout to share makes you laugh and/or intrigues you, go check out the webseries' website or YouTube channel or vote for them on Funny or Die and maybe give a dollar if you feel so inclined (seriously, no pressure.) I think it's hilarious, hopefully you will too! Without further ado, I present the season 2 look at White Liars:



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H2$ And a Dance Down Memory Lane (Yet Another Nerdy Review) ~UPDATED~

I don't know if I've mentioned it yet, but in addition to being interested in "traditionally nerdy" stuff (cosplay, comics, sci-fi, D&D, video games, etc) I'm also a theatre geek. I did theatre and choir in high school (yet more reasons to be ostracized as a teen, yippee) so performance/entertainment are probably my first loves. I have the likes of Shari Lewis, Rob Paulsen, Penn & Teller, and TV shows like All That! to thank for having a huge influence on me and my wanting to be a performer.

My fabulous Boyfriend surprised me with an early Christmas present: tickets to see How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying on Friday night! We had such a fun time. I really wanted to see this show for a couple of reasons; I was in H2$ once upon a time in high school, so I have a fondness for the show-it was one of the first musicals I was in. Also, I love me some Daniel Radcliffe (um, hellooo? Who doesn't?!?!?!)

I was unable to see him the last time he was on Broadway in Equus, which received impressive reviews, had amazing puppetry, and featured a stellar cast (plus the added bonus of Harry Potter's, ahem, "wand" on display for the better part of the show for the ladies out there).

H2$ follows the young and eager J. Pierrpont Finch as he attempts to climb the corporate ladder using the advice in a little book: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (the book is narrated by the smooth vocal stylings of one dreamboat Anderson Cooper).

Considering DanRad (yes, that is what I'm calling him from now on) had no musical theatre training before this, he held his own on stage. His vocals stretch a little thin at times, and he sings a little nasally on the high notes, but he more than makes up for it with his comedic timing, and the boyish charm he brings to the otherwise underhanded smarmy fellow that Finch can be in his career-driven pursuits. His on-stage chemistry with John Larroquette (from Night Court...anyone? Damn I'm old) is so fun, and it is clear the two have a great working relationship. DanRad is also an impressive dancer considering his lack of training. While his form is not always as perfect as someone who has been dancing for decades, he brings an infectious energy and it is obvious he puts tremendous effort into his craft-an admirable feat. Granted, his super-stardom doesn't hurt him either, but I am amazed at how even after a year in this show, he still has such energy and focus amidst the (many, many, MANY) screaming fans in the audience each night.

Seeing the show Friday brought back a few fond memories from high school (and how few they were). While watching some of the choreography in the show and then later while listening to the soundtrack on the train on my iPod, I even started to remember my old choreography from 12 years ago. It's funny how the brain and muscle memories work, isn't it? Then I started trying to remember the names of my original cast in high school and started playing "where are they now?" in my head. The fellow who played Finch in my high school production, is now a local news reporter in Washington D.C. The guy who played J.B Bigley is now a director at the Atlantic Theatre Company here in NYC. Our Bud Frump now works in public television. Our Hedy La Rue is an actress/dancer in L.A. Our hilarious Wally Womper is now a seemingly jack-of-all-trades in the theatre and production world based in Chicago. Our Smitty now works as a student coordinator at the University of Colorado in Boulder. And last, but not least, our lovely Rosemary is now traveling the world and singing as she goes (or so I gathered from her vague FB page). Ok, enough stalking for now. I feel creepy.

Oh, and me? Now you know me as GurlNxtDoor (or Jess). In high school H2$, I was a lowly little secretary in a white button-up shirt and a ridiculously 60's-chic bright orangy/salmon-colored skirt.
And I was not a toy.