A Special Saturday Post For All of My New Yorker Friends

I live in Queens. Queens is the largest borough in New York City. It is located on the Island of Long, east of Manhattan, and north of Brooklyn. Normally, during the week it takes me roughly 35 minutes to get from my apartment into Manhattan, or 50 minutes on the weekend. This morning I was going into Chelsea (a neighborhood in Manhattan) to dog-sit all day. I also have a premiere party to attend this evening for White Liars Season 2. I hauled 3 bags of stuff out of my apartment with me this morning including, my laptop, my 3DS, my party clothes, and various other stuff I would need being away from home for 15+ hours. It gets heavy walking around the city with all that!

I got to my train station to discover that the N train (the ONLY train that runs directly from my stop into Manhattan) was not running into Manhattan due to construction. Fine. I can get off the N train at the last stop in Queens and switch over to the 7 train right across the platform, which will take me to the park where I can switch to the train I need and get where I'm going.  I got to the last stop in Queens before the river for the MTA (that's the Metropolitan Transit Authority for all you non-NYers) announcer to tell me that due to "electrical problems" the 7 train is not running into Manhattan either. W. T. F?!?!

The sage advice of the announcer was to get on a 7 train going THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION to switch to another train that would turn me right around and take me the direction I needed to go. Now as sensible as THAT sounds, I opted to haul my stuff 4 blocks away to an entirely different train line and catch that train that would take me out of my way, but still close enough to where I needed to be, and then I would just suck it up and walk the rest of the way.  I am so glad I did this. When I got to that station, I learned that the other 2 trains (the ones I was supposed to go way out in Queens to catch) weren't running either. Well, at least I dodged that bullet and miraculously I was only 10 minutes late to my job.

Thanks MTA! I can't wait for the transit fare hike next year! That will be balls-to-the-wall awesome! Would you like to lay claim to my first-born as well? Well, the joke's on you suckers! I'm adopting!  I'm taking a cab to the party.

Ye Olde Renaissance Faire and Boob(e)s

Boyfriend and I went to the New York Renaissance Faire last weekend with our friend, Jen, and good nerdy fun was had by all. It was a brisk autumnal day with crisp clear skies and it was a surprisingly meager turnout for the last day of the Ren Faire season. I appreciated that because I hate crowds and probably have a minor case of agoraphobia (says the girl who lives in NYC.) I saw many of my favorite performers return this season to reprise their roles of past seasons. The singing and stage combat were enjoyable, the humor was full of good old fashion innuendo as always. We watched jousting, and the nun show, and it was so much fun! Boyfriend even bought me a beautiful cloak from M' Lady's Panties (my favorite shoppe at Faire) because he's the best boyfriend ever!  We had a really good day.


Nun Show!!!

However, there are some things I don't understand about Ren Faire. Maybe someone can enlighten me. I know Ren Faire is very tongue-in-cheek and no one is supposed to take it as a serious portrayal of life in the 14th-17th centuries in Europe, but where exactly is the line? Is there one? I totally understand dressing up or cosplay with medieval-themed outfits, armor, bodices, etc. even if it's not necessarily outfits from the Renaissance Era. Boyfriend wore his traditional 12th Century-style Anglo-Saxon garb that he ordered custom made from Europe, (did I ever mention he has a history degree?) and I wore a purple princess hat I bought at a Ren Faire in the past. Hell, we even saw a gaggle of Doctors this year!

One of the Doctors let me hold his Sonic Screwdriver. Giggity.

All this cosplay is in good fun and makes sense...ish.  So, maybe my history is a little rusty or something, or maybe because I only got to go to the Colorado Ren Faire once or twice as a small child that I just wasn't exposed to the "culture" enough to get it, but what is with all the fairy wings? Seriously. I sort of understand little kids wearing them, little kids just like an excuse to pretend it's Halloween. It's cool. But, grown-ass men and women wearing jeans and sweaters and fairy wings?! Really?!

"I'm going to the Ren faire, I can't leave the house without my fairy wings."

Is it because Shakespeare wrote about fairies and the English Renaissance/Elizabethan Era was also during Shakespeare's time? It's a stretch, but maybe I would accept that if someone other than myself rationalized it like that. But, I can't even find one answer to this query, much less a bullshit one I just made up. I've Googled it, and all I can find are people who either make costumes for Ren Faire, or people who complain about how Ren faire isn't an accurate portrayal of the actual Renaissance Era. (Wait. Then, does that mean that Comic Con isn't an accurate portrayal of our nation's crime-fighters?!?! *gasp* My whole world is a lie.) But, seriously why all of the clearly-not-the-same-time-period-yet-alone-same-universe outfits, and why all the wings?


This is totally 15th-century-accurate, right?
Source

Another thing I noticed at Faire but also completely baffles me is girls walking around barely covered. It's the end of September and it's 68 degrees outside, ladies!!! I was in jeans and a coat and/or cloak most of the day and I was freezing!  Maybe it's just like any other "Con" environment where there's bound to be some exhibitionist-types who go out in a crowd to show off their goods for the sake of showing off. (I won't even broach the subject of people who show off their body when no one else wants to see said body. #ThingsThatMakeYouGoBleh) Whatever, I roll my eyes at those people. But, cons are indoor events, Ren Faire is outside in the wind/rain/snow/sleet/sun. Is it some sort of rite of passage that I don't know about, to see who is the most dedicated Faire-goer because they wore the least amount of clothing on the coldest day?  

She wins.
(I actually saw a Faire attendee dressed like this.)

Speaking of barely covered, I am actually shocked that I didn't see any nip slips this year. Shocked. I saw so many pasty white bubbalas overflowing out of much-too-tight corsets like dough rising out of a pan. All those poor tatas were stressed to the point that they all looked like veiny swollen water balloons about to burst. How are these women enjoying themselves?! Boyfriend and I rented costumes at Ren Faire a couple of years ago. He looked dashing in his Robin hood-esque outfit, while and I was most uncomfortable the entire day. Not only could I not breath because of the corset, but my girls were smooshed in a way that mother nature did not intend them to be. To make it worse, at one point while I was adjusting myself, my entire left boob just jumped out of my shirt for all to see. It was at that time that I knew my boobs had had enough and decided to rebel by attempting to expatriate from my body. I loosened my corset as far as it would go and still stay on, while my boobs just sort of hung around all sweaty and cranky and bra-less inside my shirt. I remained self-conscious and only slightly more comfortable for the rest of the day. Not my favorite time at Faire, but I still looked cute!


The aftermath of the Great Boob Rebellion of 2010
(no actual boobs are seen in this photo because they have gone into hiding, and also this is family friendly website, fucking perverts.)

To sum up things I don't understand about Ren Faire:
1) Fairy wings, and B) Is there such thing as "too much boobage" in cosplay?
Discuss.



Ok, fine. Here are some boobs! Are you happy now?!
Not mine





Blogger TAG!

The lovely Ryan Adair from the blog, This Must Be the Place, tagged me in a blogger share activity, and it was perfect timing because my creative juices seem to be all back-logged and junk. I am grateful to her, not only because she reads my blog and likes it, but for tagging me in this fun writing exercise/share-a-thon. Hopefully, I don't overshare. Sorry people who know me IRL!

So, here's the deal: I have to tell  you, the internets 11 facts about me that you may not know, then answer 11 questions asked by my tagger, Ryan, and then tag some other bloggers I like and ask them to share 11 unknowns, and then answer my 11 questions. Whew!  Did everyone get that? Good.
Here we go:

11 Unknown/Little-known Facts About Me

1) When I was 12, I was diagnosed with Scoliosis and had to wear a back brace for 2 years. A couple of months before my 15th birthday I underwent spinal surgery to correct the severe curve in my spine. I spent a week in the hospital and spent six weeks at home recovering before I was able to go back to school part-time.

2) I'm slightly dyslexic with numbers. 

3) When I was 3, I got my head stuck in between the stair banister railings. My dad had to saw one of the railings off to get me out.

4) My favorite Disney characters are Chip and Dale.

5) I drink a ridiculous amount of water every day. If I don't have a bottle of water with me at all times, I start to feel anxious and cranky.

6) I still sleep with a menagerie of plushies and stuffed-animals on my side of the bed. Boyfriend has accepted this about me and thinks it's endearing loves me anyway.

7) As a kid I made up my own rules to the game Risk using my toys, figurines, and action figures. It was an epic bloodbath. My official rules are written down probably still inside our old-ass edition of Risk at my mom's house. While I love playing Risk as an adult, I still maintain that my rules make a better game.

8) When I was between the ages of 2 and 6, I had an imaginary friend named "Gubby" who "lived next to the Dairy Queen" (his only discerning feature.) When I was 7, I had an imaginary talking dog named "Barnaby."

9) My hair refuses to hold curl. I got a perm in middle school  and it fell out 3 weeks later. The salon re-did the perm and it fell out again in 3 weeks. My hair had a frizzy look to it for a while. (A nerdy awkward girl with a bad perm, a back brace, and braces. I was way popular in middle school.)

10) My prized childhood posession was my dollhouse. It was my Christmas present from Santa when I was about 7 years old. Even now, as an adult, I still occasionally fantasize about playing with my dollhouse.

11) I hate jelly beans. Hate. I refuse to eat them.

My 11 Questions From Ryan

1. What has been your biggest struggle in life? 
My biggest and longest struggle has definitely been dealing with chronic anxiety and depression. The earliest memory I have of feeling depressed was when I was 3. It's something I've had my entire life as I know it, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was almost an adult. I am getting better, but every day is a fight to stay "better."

2. How do you see your future self? (Do you have kids? A career you enjoy? In rehab?)
My career dream for my future self is to be able to make my living by writing and acting with lots of video games in between, and no crappy 9-5 job getting in the way. Boyfriend and I will get married when we feel like it and have a kid when we're ready. We'll have at least one dog and a nice cozy house with a yard. Maybe we can even have a pet piggie and a pet skunk too.

3. Who are you closer to, your mother or father? Why?
This one is tough. As a kid, I was a lot closer to my dad than my mom until they divorced and my dad left the country for a couple of years for work. During my Scoliosis treatment, my mom and I became closer since we spent so much time together (she was the one taking me to the doctor and taking care of me after surgery.) Now, it's hard to say who I'm closer to. I think it depends on what's going on in my life at the time.

4. If you had 24 hours to live, and you weren't wasting your time by freaking out about dying-- what would you do and WHO would you spend your time with, and you have to spend it someone other than your significant other!
I would want to spend as much of the day as possible with my family just sitting around and talking. I would also want to write each of my loved ones a letter for them to read after I'm gone telling them my favorite memory of them.

5. Is there anyone you want to make amends with and haven't
When I was in middle school, there was a girl who didn't really fit in (even less so than me) but she was super sweet to me. We were friends for a while but something happened to me. I gave in to my insecurities and peer pressure, and I turned into a huge asshole and started ignoring her and not sticking up for her when the other kids picked on her. I never picked on her directly, but I let her take the heat so that I wouldn't have to. She eventually ran away from home. I don't know what ever happened to her, and I still feel awful about it to this day.  Sometimes it even keeps me up at night. I'm sorry M.  Wherever you are, I hope you are well. There is no excuse for how I treated you, you did not deserve that.

6. What is your favorite dessert?
I love brownie sundaes.

7. What is your favorite ethnic cuisine? (Mine is Thai!)
I do like Thai food, but I am almost always in the mood for Italian.

8. What is the moment you are MOST proud of in your life?
I'm proud of myself for being able to get past my insecurities and anxieties and move 1800 miles away from home even though it hasn't been the easiest road I've chosen to take. I am proud of myself for having the chutzpah and the drive to actually do it.

9. What is your greatest contribution to friendships/relationships?
I have a ridiculous sense of humor and no matter what is going on, I feel a compulsion to make someone smile or laugh. I want to bring joy and comfort to the people in my life.

10. Do you avoid controversy or stand up and call it out?
It depends on the situation and the controversy. If it's just politics or an argument I know that no one will win (like a FB or forum debate online,) I will stay out of it. I have better things to spend my energy on.  But, if I see a true injustice or major bullshit going on, I will step up and do something to try to fix it.

11. What are you looking forward to the most in the next year?

Hopefully moving to California, expanding my acting/writing career, and getting a doggie.

Well, there you go.  Are you sick of hearing about me yet? I'm tagging these bloggers whom I enjoy reading:

Stephanie @ The Anecdote of My Life
The Management @ The Prince and the Prozac

Tristachio @ Tristachio: Just a Family of Nuts

Kathy @ That's What She Said

Rachel @ I Thought You Were Shorter

Lincoln @ Lincoln Blogs Stuff

TAG!

My 11 questions to you:

1) What was your most prized possession as a child?

2) What's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you?

3) Not counting a significant other, who is your favorite person to spend time with?

4) Did you have any imaginary friends as a kid?

5) If you could be any fictional character (from books, movies, TV, games, comics, etc.) who would you choose to be? Why?

6) What was your favorite game as a child? What is your favorite game as an adult?

7) What is your nastiest habit?

8) What is the most reckless thing you have ever done?

9) Do you have a nickname? What is it? Have you ever had an embarrassing nickname?

10) If you had to be stuck in a video game universe which one would you choose? Why?

11) If you could write your past self a note to tell yourself one thing, what would you say?

Happy blogging! I look forward to getting to know you all better.

Memory Lane Monday: Nerdy Nostalgia and My Childhood Brain

My friend, Max found a toy store in Ohio that sells retro and old toys that are still mint in the box. Because he's such an awesome dude, he picked up his friends some goodies while he was there. He brought me a staple from my childhood that I had all but completely forgotten about.  Who else remembers these bad boys?

What baseball cards were to my dad and uncles, TMNT collectible cards were to me. They even came with a stick of gum, just like baseball cards of yore. I called my mom last week to ask her if she still had my old collection of TMNT trading cards in a box somewhere, but she had no clue what I was talking about.  My suspicion is that they were thrown out years ago. No matter, I found a website where you can still buy them. Plus, there's always ebay.

Oh yes. There is always ebay.

These card packs were in every grocery store and toy store checkout stand in Suberbia in the 80's and 90's. As a kid, every time I saw them, my eyes would light up and I would beg and plead with my parents for a quarter so I could buy them. I think they denied my request more often than not, but I do remember amassing a decent sized collection through saving my allowance, or I received them as birthday presents and stocking-stuffer gifts. Rarely would I get anyone to trade with me at school, being as I was the only girl with TMNT trading cards, the other girls just rolled their eyes at me and the boys would just laugh at my collection of cards, "Oh I have a million of that card. Oh, you don't have this card. Hmm." Because apparently they were showered with quarters for childhood trinkets, whereas my parents made me earn my monies with chores. *sigh* Parents. Always trying to prepare me for life...but I digress.

So, you guys wanna trade cards...or something..?
Original painting by J.C. Leyendecker

The funny thing is that I had all but forgotten about my TMNT trading cards until Max tossed them down on the table in front of me. The memories of them were almost lost in the rows upon rows of filing cabinets that, as a child, I imagined made up my brain. Hundreds of little elves would run through rows of card catalogues of my knowledge, standing on their tippy toes to reach the top shelves to dig out dusty bygone memories, or buried thoughts and facts. Like a library. A brain library. 

Like this, but with elves.
The Germans understand.

Holy shit! Child-me imagined my brain almost like the Library episode of Dr. Who I was just watching the other night...only with more elves and fewer disembodied faces. Steven Moffat, you are a time-traveling wizard. Stop stealing my childhood thoughts! Where are my royalties? Again, I digress...

The memory of my TMNT trading cards still hadn't fully formed in my brain until I actually picked up the sealed wax paper package from Max's table. The feel of the wax paper, that smell of cardboard and stale bubblegum finally triggered something in my brain. At last, the elves leapt from the dusty old brain shelves and cried "I remember these!" Our friend Adam even decided he had to try half a stick of decade-old gum. It pretty much just dissolved into nothingness in his mouth. We were all thoroughly grossed out by it.
So, thank you, Max.  Thanks for that nice little trip down Memory Lane.

Anyone up for trading some cards?

Memory Lane Monday: My First Computer Game

While I wasn't introduced to gaming consoles until I was about six, my family was one of the few I knew who had a personal desktop computer at home.  My dad mostly used it for work, but my parents were fairly keen on me learning how to use said computer.  I don't know if it was amazing foresight on my father's part, or if he was just paranoid that I would become too curious and break the computer, but he taught me how to use our IBM when I was just three years old. Today, it is quite common for children as young as six months old to have a basic grasp of using technology like smart phones, but when I was a child, I was the only kid I knew whose parents had a computer, yet alone the wherewithal to teach me how to use it properly. My parents saw our computer as a learning tool.  I saw it as a game. A mysterious and wonderful game.  I remember being three, sitting on my dad's lap in our basement while he taught me how to use MS-DOS and showed me the proper way to handle the awesomeness that was the floppy disk.

That's a whole 100 KB, baby! Yeah!!!
Source

My dad would let me "help" him work on the computer often enough. He would tell me what to type into MS-DOS to open his program or spreadsheet and then let me type or push the Enter button when he needed me to. Maybe it was my incessant prodding that I ask to "help" him on the computer that wore him down to buy me games-only educational ones at my mom's insistence-but whatever it was, I'm so glad he did.  Ernie and Rubber Duckie were my favorite characters on Sesame Street and thankfully those characters were featured in their very own logic/puzzle learning game, Ernie's Big Splash. I adored this game. The game's purpose was to teach children basic logic and directions. Ernie would start in one random area of the screen in his bathtub, and the player's job was to get Rubber Duckie from his spout and soap dish starting point to Ernie's bathtub using a combination of water-based mechanisms on puzzle pieces.  Once Rubber Duckie was back with Ernie, there would be a little song and dance and much rejoicing! Yay! The best part was that the mechanisms/puzzle pieces the game gave you were each different and whimsical. Sometimes it was just your basic water slide or pipe, but there was also a crocodile, a boat and even a washing machine.



And don't forget those stunning 1987 graphics. Bitchin.
Muppet Wiki

Ernie's Big Splash opened the door to other educational games (like Reader Rabbit and the Super Solver series) which my mom was happy to buy for me because the games were educational in nature.  But, Ernie lit a tiny spark in my wee soul and whet my appetite for more games. Games, games all the time! But more access to more games would take a lot of convincing on my part. Yup. Just another 6 years and I would have my very own game console. I wore 'em down good. I'm nothing if not persistent and stubborn.
 So, thank you, Mom and Dad, for obliging me my obsession with video games, even when you didn't (and maybe still don't) quite understand what an impact it had on who I am today.


Muppet Wiki

 

Deathclaws and the Jess Plague

As I sit here on my couch in some of the most excruciating pain I have been in in my life, waiting for my PS3 system update to finish before I can do anything on the PS3 to distract me from the pain, I decided a blog was in order. Why am I in so much pain? Without grossing you out with the gory details of the damage that the hell-demons are doing inside my mouth, I will simply say that I have come down with a nasty virus we are dubbing "Jess Plague." It started out a week ago as a boo-boo on my lip and has spread through the rest of my oral cavities complete with fever, tonsillitis, and pain. Lots and lots of pain. The only other time I can remember being in so much pain was after spinal surgery when I was 14. In fact, I've been in so much pain, I haven't even felt like playing video games. *gasp* I know. 

Here's a conversation between me and Boyfriend the other night while I was playing video games:

Me: (Playing Fallout New Vegas for the umpteenth time) OH SHIT!!!

Boyfriend: (In the kitchen, head in the fridge) Deathclaw?

Me: Fuck! Oh shit! Oh god, oh god, oh god. NO NO NO!!! DIE!!!

Boyfriend: Yup, I thought I knew that "oh shit" that's the "Deathclaw oh shit."

Me: There were only two of them but I didn't see them coming.

Boyfriend: You never do.

Me: Wait, you could determine that I have an "oh shit" strictly for Deathclaws versus any other "oh shit" I may say?

Boyfriend: Pretty much.

Me: I love you.

And then Boyfriend made me dinner. A sad little dinner of buttered noodles that I had to sort of gum slowly to eat. I hate the Jess Plague.

Memory Lane Monday: My Shit-hole Apartment (Part 6)

On this first edition of Memory Lane Monday, I must say I'm so glad I had this post pre-written. I'm horrible awful sick with Tonsillitis or some other nastiness because apparently, my oral cavities have decide to go on strike from the rest of my body.  But enough about me, on with the story of the day!

So, after the joys of college and moving back home with my parents temporarily, it was finally time to spread my wings...and drive 1,800 miles to New Jersey to start a new chapter in adulthood.

Living Away From Home Year 5

Moving Across the Country

(Dreams, Meet Reality)

I dreamt of living in New York City since I was a little kid. New York was THE place.  It was where dreams came true and stars were born. If I wanted to be an actor, it was NYC or Hollywood.  I never considered myself much of a west coast girl and was never all that impressed with L.A the few times I'd visited, plus I was born in Manhattan, and it was calling me home. Home to the mothership.



Exactly.
IMDB



Since the leap from Colorado to NYC was so abrupt and expensive, I decided to "cushion" the blow by moving to Weehawken, NJ where I could still keep the security blanket that was my car, but easily commute into Manhattan by bus for auditions or work. I can't even begin to explain how all the pieces of the move fell into place, it almost seemed too easy, and too right-time-right-place in retrospect. Also in retrospect, what I did was ballsy, but also a little bit hasty and not one of the smartest things I ever done. I did work very hard and spent a lot of hard-earned money to make my dream happen. But I also did something not-so-wise.  I moved into a house with two complete strangers 1,800 miles away from the only place that was ever home, with no job, no job prospects, and a savings account that was hemorrhaging money. Isn't being young and reckless awesome?!



You get my money! And YOU get my money! Everybody gets my money! (Except me.)
T-shirt Laundry

I had my friend Tommy and Not-Yet-Boyfriend for moral support, I had a dream, and I had ambition-the kind that comes with youthful stupidity and optimism. The day or two after I got myself and my ferrets all settled and mostly unpacked, I drove 5 miles to Hoboken, NJ (lovingly referred to by Jersey-ites as "The 'Boken" or "The 6th Borough") parked my car, fed the meter, and started hoofing it up and down Washington Street with a folder full of resumes looking for a job. Any job. I honestly don't remember how many restaurants, bars, and shops I set foot in that day.  A lot of them gave the glassy-eyed "oh I'll have the manager call you" response, and I did literally get laughed out of a couple of bars because I didn't know what their strange colloquialisms for certain drinks were (bartending school means jack diddly here) and to this day, I still don't know what the hell is in a "Red-Headed Slut" shot. Eventually, I meandered into a cafe called The Frozen Monkey where they all but hired me on the spot. 


This place sadly no longer exists. Funny enough, though neither does the restaurant I worked after this...nor the retail store I worked after that...nor the restaurant I worked after that.
Be ye warned, retailers: I am the harbinger of bankruptcy!

 Once I got back to my house, I felt a burst of self-confidence and perused the trade papers for auditions. I came across an agency looking for actors for background work and gave them a call to set up an audition. I drove 45 minutes to their office the next day (45 minutes away from NYC should have been a red flag) and sat down with their fast-talking "agent" (fast-talking, pushy, more red flags) I signed a contract and made a "down payment" on my membership with them (GINORMOUS RED FLAG!!! Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!!!) To any would-be actors/entertainers out there, if you take anything away from my blog other than some schadenfreude, let it be this: Never Never NEVER pay an agency to get you work. Legit agents get paid only when YOU get paid and not in any other way. Long story short, this particular agency was super shady and had I been smart I would have skipped that appointment with them, but c'est la vie. You live and you learn. I did get my very first paid gig on a network pilot through them, so it wasn't the biggest mistake I ever made, but they made way more money off of me than I ever made thanks to them. Lesson learned. Unfortunately, this experience made me extremely leery of casting agencies almost to the point of paranoia which certainly didn't help me get any acting work especially during the infamous Writer's Guild strike, stagehand strike, the threatened SAG strike, and the recession that overshadowed much of my first 18 months on the East Coast. Looking back, the shady agency seemed to be the tip of the ice burg of life lessons telling me I may have been in a little bit over my head.



But who could resist this view?
Copyright Jessica Ayers

I wasn't in over my head nearly as much as my landlord, Alex was, however.  He was a nice guy, but this house I was renting was his first venture into landlord-ing. My 2 roommates and I were renting the top 2 floors of a charming turn of the century Colonial-style house. I met them online and in person before moving in with them thanks to an online roommate listing. They were friends with each other from college and they seemed nice and "normal" enough to me. Their names were Kate and Jessica (I'm not even joking.) They were really nice girls, and it was definitely a culture shock for all of us living together, but Kate and Jersey-Jess were pretty good roommates overall.

I love old houses except for the fact that they're old and broken.
Google Maps

The house was old, but in relatively decent shape other than the roof needed to be patched up a bit and the old unusable chimney shaft leaked a little into our kitchen. No big deal, Landlord Alex had some guys come fix it a month into us living there. And by "fix it" I mean one morning while we were all asleep the roof guys drilled into the chimney flue for some unknown reason and the vibrations shook a bunch of old soot and other crap loose and it collapsed into our kitchen and got black soot on EVERYTHING. Did I mention my bedroom was attached to the kitchen? Yeah, nothing makes waking up in the morning more awesome than opening your bedroom door to find black soot on almost everything you own.  Especially in the place where you prepare and eat your food. Did I mention that most of the tile in our kitchen was white? (Was being the operative word.) I was first to make the unfortunate discovery and stood staring in shock. Kate and Jersey-Jess both screamed when they saw the kitchen. We all had to go to work, but we were assured that Landlord Alex would come inspect the damage and get it taken care of.

Apparently his idea of "taken care of" and our idea of it were two very different things. He decided to make the roof guys working stop what they were doing and come inside to clean up the mess they made. The geniuses then decided the best course of action was to get their shop vac and suck up all the soot and then blow it back up the chimney (dear god, I wish I was joking.)  So, when we all returned home from our respective jobs, our once white kitchen had a nasty layer of grey filth on everything. Fun fact: did you know that when you vacuum up soot, particles still get into the air around you? Also, when you suck it up and then blow it out of a shop vac, it goes EVERYWHERE! So, not only was our kitchen covered in a weird grey dusty grime, so was literally everything else in the house. Every.Thing.  Needless to say we threw a hissy fit and demanded better action from Landlord Alex.  The next day while we were at work he sent a professional cleaning crew to do a thorough cleaning of the house.  But, by "professional cleaning crew" I'm pretty sure he meant Merry Maids.  
 

What we expected vs. what we got.

The cleaning crew did a satisfactory job, but whoever they were, they were ill-equipped for a such a heavy duty cleaning job. In fact, almost a year later when Kate, Jersey-Jess, and I all moved out and on with our lives, we were still finding soot in crevices and shelves, and on rarely-used items throughout the house.  But even an exploding chimney, a shady talent agency, and my escaping New Jersey by the skin of my teeth (more on that soon) could not prepare me for the nightmare that awaited me.

To Be Continued...

And Then I Almost Rage-Quit the Internet



Source

 I promise this will be my last post about trolls...this week. Do I go out seeking trolls? No. Sometimes they find me, and sometimes I stumble across them. Most of the time I try to take the high road and ignore them, but today, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  I could not stay silent. I was doing some research into joining SAG-AFTRA and looking into getting a loan to pay my union dues and joining fees since my eligibility status is about to change to a "must join" status (remember how I was freaking out about that a while back? I'm better now. I promise.) I had some questions this morning that I couldn't find answers to on the union's website, so I turned to my good ol' pal, Google.  I found a great article in Backstage, but it didn't answer my questions. I turned again to Google.

I came across a blog post by a man named Art Lynch.  In his post, he referred to people who don't join the union immediately as "scabs" like we're less than the all high and mighty union members because we have chosen to delay joining for one reason or another. I personally have worked hard to become eligible to join the actors' union. There is no road map for success in the entertainment industry. While I'm not yet where I want to be in the industry currently, I took a big step up this year.  To quote Frank Sinatra, "I did it my way." For someone who acts like he's so professional and such an expert in this area, Mr. Lynch's blog post is littered with misspellings, poor grammar, and a general air of undue superiority. I wrote (what I think was) a fairly rational argument in his comments section. I doubt he'll approve my comment, so I will share it here on my turf.


My rebuttal to Mr. Art Lynch:
This stance on union-eligible actors seems closed-minded and pompous. I am proudly union-eligible and I got that way through a Taft Hartley, and I have every intention of officially joining the union as soon as possible.

But my definition of "as soon as possible" doesn't sound immediate enough for you based on your post. I am almost at the end of my eligibility period where I "must join" but there are plenty of logical reasons why I am not joining yet. Elaborating on what Anonymous said, if I join tomorrow, then I can no longer accept non-union jobs/theatre jobs to build my resume and my reel. While I am thrilled to be union-eligible, and I have worked very hard for years to get to this point, I know that joining now might not be the wisest decision. I want to develop my craft more, expand my resume and make sure I have a decent reel before I join. Otherwise, it will make it that much more difficult to get work. Who wants to hire a union actor who has no union credits? 

Also, I don't know about you, but $3000 is a helluva lot of money for me. It's more than I make in a month at my "real job" so joining SAG-AFTRA immediately is not even remotely possible right now from a financial standpoint. Last time I checked, my landlord and the grocery store don't accept SAG-AFTRA union cards as valid payment.

While I'm sure there are a handful of actors out there who become eligible to join the union and then "milk" it and/or attempt to abuse the system or "tarnish the brand" that is SAG. But it's ridiculous to assume that everyone who is eligible who doesn't join immediately is like this. I'm sure there are also plenty of naive actors who join the union or buy their way in as soon as possible without enough experience or credits to their name, or without strengthening their own brand - thinking that their union status alone will guarantee them an agent and work, and rocket them to fame and fortune, and that they don't have to work hard to achieve success. Again, I'm sure these types are few in number, and I bet they don't last long in this business.

So, excuse me for continuing to stay on my "selfish" SAG-E path until the timing is right for me to officially join. I am proud to be eligible. I am proud of the hard work I did to get here.  Maybe you should take a second and get off of your high horse and see what SAG-AFTRA has to say about joining:
"...don’t be in a hurry to join unless you are sure that you're ready to compete as a professional. For performers, you should prepare yourself by studying, performing in plays and non-union on-camera projects in order to build your resume and gain valuable experience. The time to join is when it makes sense for you. (Everyone's) situation is different."

Who are you to judge when it's right for someone else to join?



And then I rage-quit the internet
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 After replying to Mr. Lynch's post, my hackles were still up and I wanted to keep "SAG-AFTRA Eligible" on everything of mine just out of spite. But, then I became curious as to how other "professionals" in the industry felt on this topic. I found another post talking about union eligible actors that expressed a similar opinion to Mr. Lynch, but I think this second one was worded more practically and didn't come across as a direct lashing out and attack on actors like me. Then I found a very logical list of reasons from a casting director regarding why putting "SAG Eligible" on a resume is not always a wise career choice.  While, these other two posts have a similar opinion as Art Lynch, they approach it in a much more mature fashion. Because of the second two posts, I plan to remove the "eligible" label from my resume and website until I'm officially ready to take the union plunge.  The second two posts made logical and valid arguments, not a hoity-toity temper tantrum. I'm not claiming to have more knowledge than this Art Lynch fellow, if his resume is up-to-date he has had an extensive career and I'm sure has obtained a vast amount of knowledge that he is clearly trying to share with everyone.  But, what he posseses in knowledge, he lacks in tact.

Today's lesson:Trolls aren't just for geeks anymore.  Also, if you are Trolling to try to get people to agree with you, it most likely will not have any positive affects. Don't poke people with a stick and scream "Listen to me, I'm important!"

Wheaton's Law!!! (My Friday battle-cry.)

On that note, everyone enjoy this happy puppy; it's Friday!

TBIF: Thank Boo it's Friday!

White Liars Season 2

The trailer for White Liars Season 2 dropped today! This season is funnier and we had so much fun shooting it. Please enjoy and get acquainted with Season 1 if you haven't seen it yet!

Trolls, Trolls, Go Away, Come Again...Well, Never, Kthanxbai



Amazon



I'm a little pissed this afternoon. Maybe it's the weather here in NY (it's nasty, and humid as a sarlacc in the Myanmar rain forest) but I read some more nasty comments on one of my videos on my YouTube channel, and I feel like I need a shower to clean the filth from my psyche.  The strange thing is it's only one video of mine that seems to be attracting these horrid misogynistic little troll shits. While I will be the first to admit that the video in question is not my strongest interview to come out of our trip to PAX East, it was vastly improved thanks to Boyfriend's editing and tweaking, but it is definitely not my favorite interview. I know I could have done better.  If someone wants to say that to me, fine. Call me out, please. Tell me that I don't look at the camera enough, or that I didn't ask better questions, or that I stumbled over my words too much. Tell me my hair needed a brush run through it, or I could have worn more make-up. Tell me to hold the mic better.  But only tell me these things if you know what you are talking about. Do you have hosting or on-camera/behind the camera experience? Super! Tell me what I can do to fix my mistakes. Help me be better. That's one reason why I posted the videos I did-to get better. But don't you dare huddle behind the safe anonymity of your computer screen in your mommy's basement and dump all over me like the cowardly little sack of parasite excrement that you are. I dare you to say these things to my face. Do it. That way if you have the balls to tell me what you really think, I can then have the pleasure of boxing you in the ears and asking you if you kiss your mother with that mouth. Then I will spit on you. But that won't happen. Why? Because you are nothing.  You are so much lower than nothing that you feel the need to look at those of us who believe enough in our own talents that we are trying to use our imaginations to make the world better by spreading creativity and joy to others. You peer up from your hole at us and instead of trying to rise up and be awesome too, you feel the need to try to drag us down into the bowels of the empty, self-loathing, inspiration vacuum where you dwell, feeding off of pirated garbage and misery. So, can you make a better video than I did? Fine. Go fucking do it. I fucking double-dog-dare you.

My kind of double dog dare.
Blog

Sometimes it just boggles my mind how much hatred and vitriol there is out there. So, I've reached an impasse in my brain. A large part of me is tired of deleting these trashy comments.  Should I just turn off comments altogether?  Part of me is against it, because then I feel like the trolls win.  I feel like they beat me, like I'm not strong enough to take their abuse. I think I would feel disappointed in myself, like I was running away because the "big kids are mean and don't like me playing on the playground with them." But, if I disable comments, then maybe I'll miss out on some compliments or constructive criticism or advice. Ah the eternal YouTube dilemma. 

What would Felicia Day do..?

What would Wil Wheaton do..?

Time to watch this video again for a little pep talk.

Well, on that note, this day needs some humor. Here's some funny shit that I didn't write 'cause I'm all tapped out:

Like Finding Out That You Get a Free Trip to the North Pole but Santa is Dead When You Get There

Best Fightin' Words

Like a Boss

Where the Hell is Matt and a Tesla Cannon

Don't Feed the Trolls

Return of the Cursed Writer's Block

'Tis true. I am suffering from a severe bought of Writer's Block...again.  I didn't get to go to PAX Prime, or Dragon Con this weekend, so I won't even attempt to write about those two awesome things. NYCC is coming up soon, but after the debacle that was last year, I'm still not certain we will be attending. But, since it is a new blog year, I mulled over ideas of ways to spice up or make the blog more fun.  I got nothing.  I will announce, however, a new theme day coming to Gurl on Girl-Gaming!

I now dub Mondays "Memory Lane Mondays," in which I will continue my oh-so popular My Shit-hole Apartment series, but I also plan to add a dash of nerdy nostalgia on occasion. 
And that's all I got so far. Feel free to submit ideas or your thoughts, feelings, concerns, etc. on theme days 'cause I'm tapped out right now. So, I leave you with this: