And This is How I Know I Am Slowly Becoming Unhinged

Boyfriend and I made burritos/tacos for dinner a couple of nights ago, and they were delicious. This conversation was a result of Boyfriend's purchasing choices made on "taco night."

Me: Did you know you got two different kinds of refried beans the other night?

Boyfriend: Yes.

Me: Oh. Ok... So you bought two kinds of beans on purpose?

Boyfriend: Yup.

Me: Oh. Ok...Did we have this conversation already?

Boyfriend: Nope.

Me: Ok.  Are you sure?!

Boyfriend: Yup.

Me: Huh. I must have dreamed it then.

Boyfriend: ok..?

Me: Well, you bought two kinds of beans and I didn't know that so when I opened the second can today, they were all red and chunkier and I thought something was wrong with them especially after I tasted them and they made my tongue all tingly. But then I looked at the can and it said "spicy" on it but it didn't taste at all like the beans the other night. Then I got paranoid that something was wrong with the beans and I thought I was going mad, so I dug through the recycling bin to check the other can and it was the green pepper kind, so that's when I understood that the beans were fine, and you just bought two types. But then I got concerned because what if you didn't know you bought two different types of beans and now we couldn't take this one back because I had opened it and eaten it already. 
I thought we had this conversation already.  I swear we had this conversation...

Boyfriend: Nope.

Me: Huh, I must have dreamed it then. Weird.

Boyfriend: You were clearly very concerned about the beans.

Me: Welcome to the hell that is the insides of my brain.

Boyfriend: I'm sorry you live in a world of chaos where I buy two different types of beans.

Me: Me too. This is so stupid I have to blog it.

Boyfriend: Yup.

Why Boyfriend hasn't left me for a more stable human being, I may never know.

So...THAT Happened... (Updated)

I believe I have mentioned in the past that I live in New York. More specifically, I live in Queens, in a neighborhood with a growing reputation for being affordable, convenient and relatively safe. There are a lot of young artists/actors/etc who live here (myself included). However, what the neighborhood might not be known for is having a shit-ton of crazy people living here too.


Boyfriend and I live in the least expensive apartment either of us have ever lived in in NY. We've lived in our current place for almost a year and we've come to realize that it is cheap for a reason. I plan to share some other apartment-living horror stories at a later time, but for now, I want to tell you a short tale about an incident from last night.


I may have also mentioned in the past that I suffer from depression and anxiety disorders (as do most creative types, I think). I'm not exactly an introvert, I can be very charming and outgoing in the right situation (aka when I'm in my comfort zone) or after I warm up to my surroundings, but I'm not all up-in-you-face-oh-it's-so-great-to-meetcha kind of gal. Boyfriend is much more of an extrovert than I am, which is why we compliment each other so well. He can coax me out of my "safe zone" and I can rein him in when he gets a little too "out there" or too chatty.


That being said, we live on the fourth floor of a four-story-walk-up (i.e. no elevator, steep-ass stairs) so at the end of a long day at work and a commute home on a crowded train, I still have to haul my lazy ass up four ancient flights of stairs, and I get a little winded and cranky and sweaty.


Winded+cranky+sweaty+social anxiety disorder=panic in the face of strangers


Also, our 3 neighbors on the fourth floor are all crazy, or so Boyfriend has told me, I've never actually met any of them since I'm at work all day. Anyone else I come across in the building we will exchange the socially-acceptable nod or smile and a muttered "hi"-typical New York behavior, and I'm ok with that.



Last night, Boyfriend and I are walking up the stairs, both coming home from long days at work. We get to the top of the stairs and there is a strange woman whom I've never seen before in my life. I don't know if she lives in the building, I don't know if she's visiting. I. Don't. Know. Her.



I nod and smile and turn the corner and go to unlock my door. Boyfriend, having seen this woman before (apparently she's our crazy neighbor who lives across the hall) smiles and says:

Boyfriend: Helloooo!

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hello.
I turn around, realizing she's our neighbor, I smile again and before I can even think to say hello, she says:

Crazy Neighbor Lady: (To Boyfriend) You know, you're wife isn't very friendly. You're friendly, I like you. But she's not very friendly at all.

Boyfriend: (Defending my honor) Well, I think she's plenty friendly, she's just quiet.

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hmmm...well I don't think so.

I was speechless as the rage boiled up inside of me. Who says that? Also, how dare you talk about me as though I weren't standing right in front of you! I have this to say:


Dear Crazy Neighbor Lady Across the Hall,

I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! We've never met before last night's abysmal excuse for human interaction. I've never seen you before in my life! You know nothing about me and all I know about you is that you dump rat poison pellets in the hallway but refuse to let the exterminators in when they arrive once a month to spray for pests!

W. T. F?!?!?!?

Sincerely,


The Apparently-Rude-Girlfriend Across the Hall




P.S You're crazy



P.S.S We're not married.


In fact, in honor of my hero, I am tempted to leave these in front of Crazy Neighbor Lady's door:

Or this:

Mortal Kombat of Love (Updated)

I believe I have already made it known that Boyfriend is awesome. Whenever I think he can't out-do his awesomeness, he goes and surprises me. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I totally forgot. I didn't remember until I realized that 50% of the men I passed on the street were carrying flowers of one kind or another (mostly roses, though).

Now, starting when I was a teenager, I found Valentine's Day annoying and trite (yes, I'm one of those people). To me, it's sort of just another day, like Groundhog Day or Flag Day; if someone wishes me well on that day, I will appreciate it and smile and return the sentiment, but listening to the women in my office squealing and going nuts over flowers and candy and teddy bears is irritating when I'm trying to concentrate at my desk or talk to a customer on the phone. However, unlike when I was a teen, I no longer parade this indifference around and wear it like a badge on my sleeve. I just sort of ignore the "holiday" that is Valentine's Day. If you make a big deal out of V-Day, good for you, I wish you well and a happy day, I just don't like it all up in my face all day.

I'm a firm believer in celebrating the ones you love every day, not just one day a year because the calendar tells you to and it's what is expected. Boyfriend and I tell each other that we love one another every day (sometimes it's sickening, I'll admit it). He also knows that I don't expect him to make a big deal out of the day, and he doesn't expect me to do anything too over-the-top. Nevertheless, I wanted to do something to make him feel special yesterday because he does so much for me every day (more than he probably realizes). I went and found a sort-of-mushy-I-love-you card and thought about getting him some candy. But then I remembered that Boyfriend is currently 1/3 of the way through his 90-day workout/diet plan to get into shape, and I'm very proud of him and how committed he's been to it, so I didn't want to bring temptation into the apartment with candy in a heart-shaped box. So I got him lower sodium beef jerky. Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like a bag of beef jerky (except maybe this...eew).

When I got home, he was waiting for me at the door with a single rose and an adorable video-game-themed valentine he bought from an awesome independent designer on Etsy (take THAT Hallmark, you will have none of Boyfriend's money)! I was quite impressed with his ability to take a common V-Day gift and put his own spin on it. It made me feel all warm and gooey inside and special that he made that little extra effort plus he supported an independent artist. This is why I love him. If our relationship was Mortal Kombat of Love, he would totally be winning.

Friendship Fatality?

Epic Boyfriend

It's official: I have the greatest boyfriend ever!

Boyfriend and I are going down to North Carolina with his family for Christmas-at-the-beach. To avoid carrying too much stuff down with us, we exchanged Christmas presents a couple of days early. I got him a nice leather-bound collector's edition of 2 Neil Gaiman books, a new laptop lap-desk, and some other fun odd n' ends. (My presents are a little lame in retrospect.)

Usually Boyfriend gives me jewelry for Christmas which is nice, it makes me feel pretty (and what girl doesn't enjoy feeling pretty?) So, when I saw just a small-ish rectangular box under the tree, I was intrigued. He talked about how cool it was and hinted that it was really nice and that I was going to be surprised; I took that as a challenge to guess what it was. Try as I might, I hadn't a clue what was inside. The box was far too big and heavy to be jewelry, unless he had stolen me the crown jewels, but when would he have had the time to fly across the pond? The tag on the box read, "To my beautiful girl gamer" and it was too big and not the correct shape to be just a PS3 or XBOX game. What was in the box?!

A new XBOX controller for my tiny hands, perhaps? Or a new video game with a rock inside just to throw me off? Or SEVERAL new video games with a rock inside just to throw me off? The possibilities were endless...


The Anniversary Edition Zelda 3DS!!!!

I was completely blown away! I was in a state of shock when I opened the wrapping paper and saw the box. For a moment my brain could not seem to compute what it was. I was that surprised. I believe the exchange between me and my beloved went a little like this:

Me: Is it a 3DS?
Boyfriend: Yeah.
Me: REALLY?!
Boyfriend: Yep.
Me: YOU GOT ME A 3DS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! (at this point I was squealing at a frequency only dogs could hear)
Boyfriend: Uh-huh.
Me: OMAGOSHTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

We had seen the 3DS debut at Pax East in March and had talked about how it would be fun to have, but we both agreed that we were satisfied with our PS3 and our XBOX360 among our other aging-yet-equally-loved-consoles. So, to say that I was confused and excited at the same time after opening my present is an understatement.

Now we can play video games together without playing together. One of us can play on one of the large consoles while the other plays the 3DS. Togetherness while we each do our own thing is an important part of what makes our relationship so awesome, especially when living in a big city with small living spaces; it's easy to get sick of people all up in your personal atmosphere. But, somehow we never get sick of each other...or at least if he gets sick of me, he's smart enough to never tell me.

I love my Christmas presents from him every year, but this year Boyfriend's gift will go down in the history books of awesome gifts (I don't know how he'll top it next year). Needless to say, he has gained the level of Epic Boyfriend.


Roll your fortitude, bitch!