So...THAT Happened... (Updated)

I believe I have mentioned in the past that I live in New York. More specifically, I live in Queens, in a neighborhood with a growing reputation for being affordable, convenient and relatively safe. There are a lot of young artists/actors/etc who live here (myself included). However, what the neighborhood might not be known for is having a shit-ton of crazy people living here too.


Boyfriend and I live in the least expensive apartment either of us have ever lived in in NY. We've lived in our current place for almost a year and we've come to realize that it is cheap for a reason. I plan to share some other apartment-living horror stories at a later time, but for now, I want to tell you a short tale about an incident from last night.


I may have also mentioned in the past that I suffer from depression and anxiety disorders (as do most creative types, I think). I'm not exactly an introvert, I can be very charming and outgoing in the right situation (aka when I'm in my comfort zone) or after I warm up to my surroundings, but I'm not all up-in-you-face-oh-it's-so-great-to-meetcha kind of gal. Boyfriend is much more of an extrovert than I am, which is why we compliment each other so well. He can coax me out of my "safe zone" and I can rein him in when he gets a little too "out there" or too chatty.


That being said, we live on the fourth floor of a four-story-walk-up (i.e. no elevator, steep-ass stairs) so at the end of a long day at work and a commute home on a crowded train, I still have to haul my lazy ass up four ancient flights of stairs, and I get a little winded and cranky and sweaty.


Winded+cranky+sweaty+social anxiety disorder=panic in the face of strangers


Also, our 3 neighbors on the fourth floor are all crazy, or so Boyfriend has told me, I've never actually met any of them since I'm at work all day. Anyone else I come across in the building we will exchange the socially-acceptable nod or smile and a muttered "hi"-typical New York behavior, and I'm ok with that.



Last night, Boyfriend and I are walking up the stairs, both coming home from long days at work. We get to the top of the stairs and there is a strange woman whom I've never seen before in my life. I don't know if she lives in the building, I don't know if she's visiting. I. Don't. Know. Her.



I nod and smile and turn the corner and go to unlock my door. Boyfriend, having seen this woman before (apparently she's our crazy neighbor who lives across the hall) smiles and says:

Boyfriend: Helloooo!

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hello.
I turn around, realizing she's our neighbor, I smile again and before I can even think to say hello, she says:

Crazy Neighbor Lady: (To Boyfriend) You know, you're wife isn't very friendly. You're friendly, I like you. But she's not very friendly at all.

Boyfriend: (Defending my honor) Well, I think she's plenty friendly, she's just quiet.

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hmmm...well I don't think so.

I was speechless as the rage boiled up inside of me. Who says that? Also, how dare you talk about me as though I weren't standing right in front of you! I have this to say:


Dear Crazy Neighbor Lady Across the Hall,

I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! We've never met before last night's abysmal excuse for human interaction. I've never seen you before in my life! You know nothing about me and all I know about you is that you dump rat poison pellets in the hallway but refuse to let the exterminators in when they arrive once a month to spray for pests!

W. T. F?!?!?!?

Sincerely,


The Apparently-Rude-Girlfriend Across the Hall




P.S You're crazy



P.S.S We're not married.


In fact, in honor of my hero, I am tempted to leave these in front of Crazy Neighbor Lady's door:

Or this: