Does anyone else suffer from this? Convention envy. I haz it. Spring through autumn seems to be convention season. Last weekend was Emerald City Comicon. MegaCon & Pax East are next weekend, and San Diego Comic Con (the big papa) is just around the corner.
And I don't get to go!!! *Weeps furiously in the corner
I should have seen it as a bad omen when PAX East tix went on sale the day Boyfriend and I were driving through Utah, thus we had absolutely no way of knowing they went on sale, yet alone any way of purchasing them. So Saturday tix and 3-Day passes were gone before we even unpacked our car in California. BUt Boyfriend was determined to still make our annual pilgrimage to Boston with our friends. He bought us what tickets he could still get and vowed we would go.
Unfortunately, things have not panned out here as we hoped, economically speaking which has not helped me climb out of my downward emotional spiral of suck (more on that tomorrow...aren't you excited?!) Boyfriend can't afford to fly us both to Boston for the weekend, and I can't afford to take any time off of what little work I can get, so...
me no go to PAX.
I feel like I'm losing my nerd cred. Stupid money and needing it to buy things like food and shelter. But, I'm trying really hard to look on the bright side. Boyfriend is going to get to go to PAX East (he has never missed one) and see our friends. So I'm happy that he's happy. He was able to sell my passes and make his money back. We won't have to worry about what to do with Leeloo over the weekend since I'll be home. I'll get a quiet weekend to myself with my video games and my doggy. I'll just have to avoid all things internet so that I don't fall into a weeping nerd depression every time there's a new tweet about all the cool stuff I'm missing. Also, speaking of depression, since I won't be there, I won't have to deal with the Post PAX Blues. Hooray?
Still...Con Envy. It's a thing.
I wanted to write an epilogue or a follow-up on my couch saga stories today. It was going to be really funny. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling the funny today. I'm feeling all the feels, and they are hurty feels. An old friend of mine died yesterday and I just can't find the funny today.
Desi was kind of a private person until she got to know and trust you, so I will respect that about her by not revealing too many specific details about her or her passing. She had asthma and I guess she'd been battling pneumonia for the past month and it just took her away from us.
Desi loved to laugh. She had a smile that would steal all the light in the room. She was full of life and joy and fun and love. Our time together as friends was briefer than I would have liked. We were only friends for about a year before I moved to the east coast, and she stayed in Colorado. Sadly, life and the miles got in the way, as it does when you grow up. We lost touch, but I always held a fondness for her and remembered the fun we had together. I don't know that I ever told her how awesome of a person she was. Now I will never get that chance. That's what hurts the most. The guilt. I should have tried harder to keep in touch. I should have tried harder to see her when I would go home to visit family.
The last time we spent time together was when she took me out for St. Patrick's Day the week before I moved to the East Coast. That was a great night. We had a lot of fun, as we always did. She was a constant in my life when everything felt like it was changing and moving too fast for me to keep up.
Memories that flooded my brain at 4am when I was trying to sleep:
-She was afraid of bridges.
-The worst argument we ever had was about the correct pronunciation of the word "Ogle."
-I introduced her to Firefly and we were obsessed!
-At a family barbeque, her niece (or cousin, I can't remember the relative) asked me if we were "partners." It was really awkward. But, I now consider it a verification of true friendship when someone mistakens me and a girl friend for lesbians.
-She would crave rare steak after watching horror movies
-She had a special "Desi Dance" and it was hilarious and awesome
Sadly I only possess 2 pictures of us together. The rest I believe were on an SD card that was in my camera that got stolen a few years ago. But I have many memories of karaoke, dancing, drinking, late-night Taco Bell drive-thru, Firefly watching, and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. God, girl, you were so fucking funny. I miss your laughter.
Rest in peace, Desi. You were fabulous and I hope you knew how loved you were. Sorry this isn't eloquent. It hurts too much.
