Remember how my mom sent me a mystery present? The mystery has been solved! No thanks to the mailman, I got my Easter present today. I deliberately didn't leave my couch all day just like every other day so as not to miss the mailman. However the jerk decided it was less work to not ring the bell to give me my package and instead left the little "sorry we missed you" slip. You sonofobiitch!
I noticed around 4:30pm this afternoon that the mailman had yet to deliver my present, since he usually comes around 3pm (It's amazing the things you learn about day-to-day life when you are unemployed play video games like it's your job.) I put on shoes and a coat and jogged to the post office. (I do not run. I only run to catch a train/bus, or if a zombie or knife-wielding clown is chasing me. No running.) Thankfully I got inside in time and waited on the always-long line to pick up my stuffs. I wanted to complain that our mailman didn't ring the bell, but the man behind the counter spoke very broken English and looked like he gave negative shits about his job, me, or my problems. So I got my stuff and went home.
Anywho, the mystery is solved! So, what was only half-perishable and creative and fun and not chocolate or candy? My mom sent me a guacamole kit complete with fresh avocados and even that cutesie Easter basket grass! Yay! Oh and also chocolate. (Did I mention how crafty and like The Riddler my mom can be sometimes?)
Boom Riddled.
Thanks, Mom.
Also, this:
I want to preface this by saying I love my mom, she's pretty cool. We don't have a perfect relationship, but what family has that? My mom likes to send me gifts for various holidays (Valentines Day, Easter, Halloween, Flag Day, etc.) she's cool like that. While I love getting presents in the mail, my mom will often either tell me so much information about a present that I can pretty much figure out what I'm getting before I get it, or she will give me such a vague description about what she' sending me that I am completely baffled and occasionally slightly concerned.
Especially, when we have phone conversations like this one:
Mom: Oh, and I sent you an Easter package in the mail today. Now, I hope it gets to you soon because it's perishable.
Me: (Thinking, "awesome it's probably chocolate.") Aw, thanks mommy. I'll keep a look out for the mail man.
Mom: It's not chocolate. I didn't want to send you a bunch of candy because I just sent you some for Valentine's Day.
Me: (Slightly disappointed that I would have to now go buy my own candy, and also starting to wonder what "perishable" means if it's not candy.) Oh. That's ok, mom, you can always send us candy. We like candy!
Mom: Well, I don't want to just send you candy in case you're trying to lose weight. I don't want to encumber that.
Me: (Staring to wonder if I do need to lose weight.) Uh, that's ok, we don't eat a lot of candy, so it's ok for you to send us that on special occasions.
Mom: I know, it's just hard, I try to find creative gifts to send you. So hopefully this will get to you soon and won't spoil. It won't be anything gross or smelly when it gets to you, but part of it might be a little mushy. But don't worry you can throw that part out if it does spoil when it gets to you. I just wanted to send you a complete gift.
Me: (Starting to really wonder.) Um...ok...thank you?
Seriously, I have no idea what to do with this information.
Here's what I know:
-My mom has sent me a package with an Easter gift inside of it
-Part of it is perishable and may possibly be mushy when it arrives
-The gift would not be "complete" without said might-be-mushy-when-it-gets-here part
Whaaaa?
