V is for Vamping or Vorpmi

Vamp (verb)-To put together; fabricate or improvise

Vorpmi- Improv spelled backwards

We're coming down to the final days of A-Z Blogging challenge, and I'm sort of falling off the writing-everyday-wagon again. Sorry! My pesky job keeps getting in the way this week (you know, the place where people sleep at their desks, come in 20 minutes late every day and steal my birthday balloons because I was out sick and not there to defend them, and give said balloons to another employee on their birthday-I wish I was joking. *Sigh* That place.)  No matter. It's Thursday and every other Thursday Boyfriend and I get together with our friends and play Pathfinder. Tonight is a Pathfinder night! Huzzah!

Source

I am currently playing a half-elf Urban Druid named Bronwen. The name Bronwen is of Welsh origin and depending on your source, can translate to mean fair or blessed breast (heh, breast) and the variation of it can also mean white or blessed raven. My character Bronwen stands 5'9" tall and weighs around 135 lbs. Her slender athletic frame is covered in milky white skin which is juxtaposed by a full head of flowing charcoal hair. Being an Urban Druid, she is not quite as athletic or knowledgeable about nature as her forest brethren.  Her piercing green eyes always seem to hint that she knows something she 's not telling you. Bronwen's past is somewhat vague.  She knows very little of her parents, as they died mysteriously when she was quite young.  She was raised by a kindly human druid who was never blessed with a child of her own, but always wanted one.  Bronwen is very quiet and keeps mostly to herself, always having felt as though she was more welcome in the presence of animals than humans. She has never felt as though she quite fit in with humans or with elves, so she tends to keep to herself. She has found her druidic order to be the closest thing to a family in her life, but even there, she still feels a bit amiss.

She realizes that life in her settlement of Westcrown, in the infernal Cheliax, is not all it could be and with her alignment being neutral good, she has grown frustrated with the tyranny that comes with living underneath Hell's thumbnail. She has grown weary of the people living in misery due to the mismanagment from the Chelish nobility. She has grown sick of the fear that that the people of her settlment live in mostly due to lawfully evil hellknights andf the mysterious creatures that violently hunt the town at night.  Hearing hushed rumblings of the possibility of the existence of a small but growing uprising, Bronwen heads out one evening (hopefully returning home before sundown) to investigate these rumors. She gathers with many others at Vizio's Tavern for a secret meeting led by Janiven Key. Even before a plan can be set, hellknights descend upon the tavern intedning to arrest/dispatch any and all of thw conspiritors. After narrowly escaping into thwe sewers with several other townsfolk, Bronwen decides to join the grassroots movement as a member of the Children of Westcrown.

During our four sessions so far, we've encountered many foes who have almost beaten us, but somehow our band of misfits seems to prevail.  We've battled undead, hellknights, sewer goblins, and torch-wielding goblins intent on burning horses alive, all before we reached level 2 (that's right, we saved the ponies.) 

I love you, Allie.

U is for Uncolored Un-truthers



Sourc

Ok, so un-truthers is not really a word, but for all intents and purposes of this blog post, it is now!
I've mentioned before that I'm also an actor. It's what I went to school for, it's what I still enjoy doing, and my dream career would be something incorporating my love of video games/nerdy stuff, writing, and performance (much like my newly-appointed mentor, Felicia Day.) So this is another post about pimping out my friends and their/my creative projects.  Don't feel obligated to give to their Kickstarter campaign just because I'm in it (I know you all love me so much...all 3 of you reading this right now.) We're all starving nerds/artists right now, I get that, but if the video Imma bout to share makes you laugh and/or intrigues you, go check out the webseries' website or YouTube channel or vote for them on Funny or Die and maybe give a dollar if you feel so inclined (seriously, no pressure.) I think it's hilarious, hopefully you will too! Without further ado, I present the season 2 look at White Liars:



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T is for Today

Getty

Today is a new day. It's not yesterday, it's not tomorrow.  It's now. Not last week.  Now.  I can be anything I want to be today.  Today-Me is stronger, wiser, better than Yesterday-Me.  Tomorrow-Me will think the same thing about Today-Me, but that's not important yet. My only concern today is today.  It's good to have a plan, but I need to remind Today-Me to stop regretting and worrying and beating herself up because of what Yesterday-Me did or didn't do and stop fretting about how Tomorrow-Me will handle tomorrow. Today is important.  Today is what matters most right now. 

Last week, Friday-Me heard some unsettling-yet-not-entirely-unexpected news about something I'm not supposed to know about.  It has made Today-Me look at the world a little differently.  It made Friday and Saturday-Me a little scared, a little desperate, a lot angry, a little sad.  But Today-Me is strong. Today-Me is confident...ish. Today-Me knows she has the will-power and the stubborness to not get pushed around.  Today-Me is going to kick ass today. And Tomorrow-Me plans on doing the same but Today-Me is not going to worry about Tomorrow-Me today, she can handle herself because she will be stronger, wiser, better than Today-Me.

So, tell Today-You that it's Kick Today's Ass Day, because Today-Us suck less than Yesterday-Us!

#HappyISuckLessThanYesterdayDay.


May 7ths that historically sucked less than May 6ths:
1429 – Joan of Arc ends the Siege of Orléans, pulling an arrow from her own shoulder and returning, wounded, to lead the final charge. The victory marks a turning point in the Hundred Years' War.


1824 – World premiere of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in Vienna, Austria. The performance is conducted by Michael Umlauf under the composer's supervision.

1846 – The Cambridge Chronicle, America's oldest surviving weekly newspaper, is published for the first time in Cambridge, Massachusetts

1847 – The American Medical Association is founded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

1992 – The Space Shuttle Endeavour is launched on its first mission (STS-49).

1994 – Edvard Munch's iconic painting The Scream is recovered undamaged after having been stolen from the National Gallery of Norway in February.

2012- Wikipedia writes most half of my blog post for me. Thanks Wiki!

S is for Star Wars

Star Wars Last Supper

Happy Star Wars Day!

I've heard some people say that Star Wars Day came about because A New Hope was released on May 4, 1977. This is not actually true.  A New Hope was first released in theaters in May 25, 1977 before the Memorial Day weekend. Geeks have adopted May 4th as Star Wars Day because of the pun "May the fourth be with you."

Did you know that we actually have the Brits and Margaret Thatcher to thank for the popularity of this pun? Margaret Thatcher was the first/only female prime minister elected to office.  Her election date? May 4, 1979.  After she won the election, her party took out an ad in the London Evening News saying, "May the fourth be with you, Maggie. Congratulations."

In 2005, George Lucas was giving an interview on German TV about  Star Wars and was asked about "May the force be with you." The interpreter apparently translated this to say "We will be with you on May 4th" and aired it on German TV. This may or may not have been the birth of Star Wars Day.  I can't actually find a "birth date" of this holiday.  Please feel free to enlighten me if anyone finds any factoids I any have missed about this day.  I leave you with this:

R is for Resloution (UPDATED)

Note: This blog is a day or two late.  I'm sort of falling off the wagon this week as far as writing every day.  I did write most of this post yesterday, I just wanted to go back and tweak it before publishing.  I'm warning you now, it's not a happy one.  It's not depressing, just a little bit angry. I think you'll understand why. Also, I would like to say that I am grateful to have a job when the economy and job market are not the best.  However, that doesn't mean I have to like going to work every day. Does it? These were my thoughts yesterday...

Resolution: noun

the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.

I understand that in this economy and job market that competition is fierce and people are desperate, pressure is high, and everyone has to bring their "A" Game. But what do you do when your A-game doesn't seem to be enough for some people?  What do you do when you have a supervisor so far up your ass every day you can taste her hair spray?  What do you do when the very thought of having to answer another customer's phone call makes you have a nervous breakdown? Is a poor job market a valid excuse for staying at your job as a verbal punching bag year after year hoping and searching for something better? 

I'm all for helping your fellow wo/man when they need a helping hand, but when it comes to survival of the fittest in such a dog-eat-dog corporate world when your head  is threatened by the chopping block is it ok to throw someone under the bus if they deserve it? I don't like to play dirty if I don't have to, but I also don't want to have to live on unemployment and without health benefits again. But then, do I really want to stay in a place that is so big and cold that my manager doesn't actually even know (or care about) what I do on a day-to-day basis, only how she looks?  Do I want to work in an environment where someone that I'm supposed to "report" to every day sleeps at her desk without reprimand?  Do I really want to stay in a place where if I'm out sick for a few days someone my manager steals my birthday balloons because someone else had a birthday too? (I so wish I was kidding.) Which one is really the lesser of two evils here?

My therapist tells me she's very impressed with my progress and that she knows that I am intelligent, compassionate, and have a great work-ethic. I am stronger than I think I am. This goes back to my oar analogy from a few days ago. If held a lot of stock in "signs" from the universe, I would say that yesterday was a giant neon sign with a cattle prod poking me in the direction I should go.  I need to leave to go on to something better. I can see what I think is an oar floating out there, I just need to be brave enough to jump out of the boat.

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
-Franklin P. Jones

 

My bravery tattoo

P.S You know what also starts with R? Roaches! I am sick of those little bastards. There was a gargantuan one under our fridge the other night and another one was hiding in my coffee-maker. NOOOOO! Oh glorious magical brand new birthday present coffee maker!!! I will save you, coffee!

Dear Roaches,
This is your final warning. Leave my apartment or face retribution. Die demon seeds!!!
Smiles,
Jess

Q is for Querida: A Love Letter to Felicia Day

Querida: a Spanish noun meaning dear, honey, or darling.

Sassy Felicia Day being Sassy.

Dear Querida Felicia Day,

You are undoubtedly the geek-a-sphere's Querida, its princess, its sweet yet mighty warrior. I <3 you. I recently watched your episode of Supernatural "The Girl With the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know that I haven't always gotten along with or had any respect for your "handlers" at cons, but I'm willing to put that all behind us because I know it's not your fault. Because of the wonderfulness that is your Flog, and Geek & Sundry, and Dr. Horrible, and your guest spot on Supernatural, I am now declaring you my entertainment industry mentor. You're welcome. You've been in an online musical, you've guest-starred on some fabulously nerdy shows, you've voiced awesome video game characters; you've embraced your girl-next-door "type" and become an icon. Congratulations from another girl who never got to play the "leading lady" because it's just not her type. As your new mentee (it's a word) I would like to appoint myself your new P.A when I move to California. I'll be the best and freest cheapest most economical P.A there has ever been.
-Need coffee? Name the roast/size/flavor. (Actually, you seem more like a tea drinker, but I can brew like a master.) 
-Need to go somewhere? Boom! Driver's License, clean driving record.
-Need a line cue?? Word. 
-Need your violin tuned/polished? I will learn to do such things or I will hire Boyfriend as my assistant and he will do it for you. Boom. Delegated. 
-Need a handler who is polite yet fair and firm with fans and who doesn't shoo away the owner of the con at which you're appearing? Done. 

Actually, with all those skills I have and with Boyfriend as my assistant, I think I will promote myself to Senior Production Assistant to All Things Felicia-related. I'll make myself a hat and everything, you know, so it's official and junk.


Boom. Official. Thank you, Zazzle.


Smiles,
Your Official Senior Production Assistant to All Things Felicia-Related (New York Division):
Jess "GurlNxtDoor"

P.S That's an awfully long title.  As my first action as Official Senior Production Assistant to All Things Felicia-Related (New York Division), I hereby shorten it to O.S.P.A.A.A.F.R.N.Y. Boom. Title shortened.

P.P.S That's a tricky acronym isn't it? As my second act as O.S.P.A.A.A.F.R.N.Y I will shorten the acronym further to OSPA as a time-saver. So says OSPA Jess.

Boom. Post-scripted.

P is for Portals

Source

Alright, I'm not saying anything groundbreaking here by professing my love for Valve's Portal games. Nor am I stating anything new or better or funnier than what's already been said about "thinking with portals."  I recently replayed Portal 2 on single player and co-op mode, plus the free DLC "conclusion" to the co-op storyline. I forgot how much I love this game, and how much I adore GLaDOS. She is one of my favorite female video game characters and probably my favorite video game antagonist. Portals in other games don't always work out so well as the fellows from Rooster Teeth hilariously showed the world in their Let's Play Mario with Portals video.


I want to believe that having a portal gun in real life would be amazing and that I would accomplish so much more, but let's be honest, after I got bored with making things fall through an infinite loop to launch them out over the Hudson, I'd really just use it to sweep my trash into and make it fall into my crazy neighbor's apartment.  Then they'd be completely dumbfounded as to why they come home to a pile of mysterious garbage, with no sign of forced entry. Take that crazy lady downstairs! We'll walk around just as loud as we want in the middle of the day! So there!

What would you use a portal gun for in every day life?




HOLY SHIT! There is a giant cockroach IN my toaster oven!!! No good day ever starts with a cockroach inside your appliances. Now I seriously want a portal gun just to dispose of all that nasty vermin in our kitchen. Blam! Orange portal in the floor. Blam! Blue portal on the outside wall of the building. Then I just sweep them all out. Mwahahahaha!
Here you go all you young whippersnappers looking to move to the glamorous New York City, here it is. Roaches.  Not like Joe's Apartment roaches where they sing and dance and contribute to society.  Nope. These little bastards are brown and shiny and disgusting.


The future needs to get here sooner.



MTV/Warner Bros. Pictures