Memory Lane Monday: The post I'm not allowed to Write

Yesterday I did some work on a new film that is coming out next summer. But, since I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement, if I tell you about it, I could get in trouble and probably blacklisted from working on movies again. So, I'm posting this to say, sorry for no Memory Lane Monday post today! 

But, I can tell you that the scene I was in looks like it's going to be pretty awesome. Also, I can say that the movie's current working title is London Calling. I'll let you use your Google-fu to do any snooping for information that I'm not allowed to give away. But I will be sure to post about my super cool day on or around May 2, 2014.

Source

Best. Birthday. Ever?

Pssst.  

Artist

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

I've talked about my birthday before a bit. Ok, I've talked about it a lot.  Ok, a lot, a lot. But today, I'm not going to make it all about me, just a little. I've honestly had a few not-as-awesome-as-I-wanted birthdays in the past few years. I had to go to work at the job in the 7th circle of hell last year, the year before that, Boyfriend and I had just moved to our current shit hole apartment and were completely broke. The year before that, my ferret Dusty died ON my fucking birthday. Seriously, worst birthday ever. And the year before that I wanted to go to my favorite New Orleans-style restaurant for a kick-ass Po Boy, but we showed up to discover that they didn't survive the recession. *le sigh*  So, I haven't had great run of birthday luck as an adult. So, I decided to change it this year. 

Currently, I'm as broke as I've been in years, and the money/jobs are trickling in slower than I'd like. But, I still have a roof over my head and food to eat (even if sometimes it's just peanut butter or hot dogs and beans.) And I still have clean water to drink, which cannot be said for many many people in the world today.

Instead of making my birthday all about me, I started a birthday fundraiser through Charity: Water to help raise money to provide clean water for people in developing nations. I'm asking my friends and family to instead of getting me a card or a present or buying me a beer, to donate the money they would spend on me to my fundraiser. My fundraiser goal is $1000, which I know will be difficult to obtain, but I have faith in my peoples. It's been slow-going because of the tragic events in Boston, everyone is donating to the Red Cross, which is wonderful (Boyfriend will be donating blood next week.) But, dear readers, if you have even $1 to spare, I would love it if you would go on over to my charity page and donate, or at the very least, read and share with someone you know. That would make this the best birthday ever.Thanks.

Real Life Troll Takedown (Late to the Party)

Because I'm silly and haven't been checking my Twitter as often in the last couple of weeks, I missed this and had to hear about it from *shudder* the news media. But nevertheless, it's awesome and I wanted to share and show my support for this lady.

Rae Johnston is an editor for TechLife, an Australian tech magazine, and she's a gamer. Well apparently, gents in Australia never got the memo that girls game. She was wearing her Bioshock Infinite t-shirt and given the stink eye by some Troll in a coffee shop. He then accused her (in what I'm sure was a nasty condescending tone) of not having played. So she straight up told him the twist ending of the new Bioshock game.

BOOM!

  I doubt he learned his lesson even though she says she could see in his face that she crushed him. But score a point for the ladies!!! So after this, she's been interviewed and re-blogged and re-tweeted by the likes of Forbes, and  The Mary Sue, and Sir Wil Wheaton.

Go girl! 

I haven't encountered too many Trolls IRL, but I find them much easier to deal with in person than online, despite my social anxiety. I think they can be more vicious online and it's difficult to get them to back down when they are typing away from the safety of their hidey-hole. It's easier to take them down a peg when in public, because they have no where to run to and if you stand your ground, they will either admit defeat or mutter "Psh, whatever" and go sulk in a corner. But then, they'll probably go home and take out their aggression on the internet anyway, so it does feel like we fight a losing battle sometimes. Hopefully someday Trolls and harassment will only be something that happened "back in my day."  Keep fighting the good fight everyone. Just because the other side screams the loudest at times, doesn't mean they are stronger than us.

Memory Lane Monday: Tits & Ass, Blood & Guts, and Rock n' Roll (Some Spoilers)

(Note: Honestly, I was really having a tough time trying to get this review to feel right. I wasn't even sure if I had anything new to say about this game that wasn't already out there. It also didn't help that I was about 6 months late to the party -an eternity in tech and gaming time- but I guess that's a nice thing about my reviews; I'm not beholden to anyone but me. I don't have to feel influenced by anyone. I don't have to write a review for anyone but me. I like to take my time with a game and put my thoughts out there. I've been sitting on this review forever, mostly just out of personal insecurity. I received this game as a Christmas present -just in time for me to miss the Valentine's Day Edition- and completed the main storyline in less than a week. It's a quick play-through, but this review was killing me for some reason. So, sorry it's late if you were looking forward to reading it. But it's here now!)

Lollipop Chainsaw was released for PS3 and XBOX 360 in June of 2012. Me, being the poor-ish and slightly unemployed person that I am did not get a chance to play the game until several months later. Nonetheless, I shall tantalize your eyeballs with my magical words and opinions. You're welcome.

The main storyline of Lollipop Chainsaw follows our young heroine, Juliet. She's your all-American girl: she's spunky, she's clever, she's athletic, she loves lollipops -oh yeah, and she comes from a family of zombie-hunters. We meet Juliet as she is waking up and getting ready for a typical day at San Romero High School where she is also a cheerleader (duh, I said she was all-American) and it also happens to be her birthday, and she's meeting her boyfriend, Nick (he's like, totally on the football team, you guys) in the park so he can give her a birthday present. The day starts out normally enough with Juliet riding her bike to school (she's totes Eco-conscious) when suddenly, there's an outbreak of zombies right in front of her school! OMG you guys!  Thankfully, Juliet is always prepared and has her trusty chainsaw with her in her gym bag, and she's going to give those zombies what for! 

This is seriously the least pervy pic I could find in relation to this game.

During the prologue, you learn the basic mechanics of combat as Juliet chops her way through the school parking lot to get to Nick before he's attacked. Unfortunately, Juliet is too late and Nick is bitten on the wrist right in front of her. As Nick lays dying in Juliet's arms, Juliet casts some special zombie-slayer magic and (in one of the funniest cut-scenes in the game) separates Nick's head from his infected body. Thankfully, the magic worked and Nick has been saved...sort of. He is now only a head. But, he is a living breathing head, and not all gross and zombie-fied, and that's all that matters to Juliet. Together-(ish) Juliet and Nick must fight their way through the school and the rest of the town to stop the ultimate evil from ruining the world.
  
The game-play itself is your traditional hack-and-slash with the addition of several (required) mini-game sections in each stage of the main story line to sort of add variety to all of the aforementioned hacking and slashing.The game has some RPG elements to it in that you can level up Juliet by purchasing permanent power-ups and new attack combos at the Chop2Shop.zom kiosks that are rare, but sprinkled throughout the world. You pay for things by (how else?) killing zombies and collecting the coins that fall out of their decomposing bodies.

I really liked the comic book style of the game design, it makes the blood, gore and violence (and there is a lot) less icky, for lack of a better word, however, I would still not suggest this game for those with weak constitutions. Speaking of weak constitutions, while the violence didn't really gross me out, there is a level of crudeness in the dialogue and some of the situational humor that sometimes crossed the line for me. Most of the unpleasant dialogue comes from the enemies you are fighting and I understand it's supposed to be edgy and written to sort of egg you on in the fights, but at times, I did feel like it was a little gratuitous. I'd rather not list specific examples here as I'd like to keep my blog as tasteful as possible, but let's just say that in playing some of the boss fights in Lollipop Chainsaw, I acquired many new vocabulary words that I am afraid to Google the definitions to, but -with context clues- I'm pretty sure I can figure them out on my own. That all being said, Juliet and Nick have some of the funniest dialogue in the game even when it gets up there on the rude/crude gauge. I definitely have to credit a lot of the funny factor of the Juliet/Nick dialogue to Tara Strong and Michael Rosenbaum because they are hilarious and awesome at what they do.

Video interviews with Tara and Michael here

While Lollipop Chainsaw is as funny and entertaining as a hack-and-slash game can be without feeling repetitive, there are definitely some game-play design flaws that tripped me up. The chainsaw is an awesome weapon with seemingly endless combos to unlock, and the game designers thought outside the box when designing the chainsaw and the upgrades for it. At one point in the game, the chainsaw can be upgraded to the Chainsaw Blaster which is exactly what it sounds like: a chainsaw shotgun combo. The Chainsaw Blaster is useful for dealing with far away enemies and flying (yes flying) zombies, it is also rather unwieldy. I'm the first to admit that FPS are not my strongest suit, but the blaster's aiming is clunky and frustrating to use even if you turn off the auto-aim feature. Also on the topic of clunky and frustrating, the camera angles you can use in the game are obnoxious and without an auto-center option, there were a couple instances of rage-quitting for me simply because I couldn't see what I was doing. Combine that with the suddenness that the cut-scenes often occur, and with how short the game as a whole is (only 6 stages) it feels like the game was rushed. I could forgive the game being so short if a couple of the stages didn't feel so repetitive (stage 2 is borderline boring, and it's the part of the game that garners the "drug reference" warning on the Mature Rating label.)

Doesn't stop people from buying it

The game holds mixed opinions for me as far as quality goes, gathering from various blog posts and articles I read about the game, Lollipop Chainsaw definitely produced some mixed opinions elsewhere. I even read a blog accusing the game of touting itself as female-empowering while being disguised as misogynistic and degrading. While, I can see where this blogger may have reached this conclusion -and they have every right to express that opinion- I have to respectfully completely disagree with them. Is the game sexual? Yes. Is it violent? Yes. But is it misogynistic? I didn't feel so. Misogyny is a word I feel like gets thrown around a lot by people who don't necessarily know the definition of the word. Misogyny, in a nutshell, is the hatred or dislike of women/girls simply because they are female. It can be classified as the objectification of women or the dislike of women simply because they don't conform to certain expectations. So, I have to wonder if people who played this game and still cry misogyny actually played the whole game or if they just completely missed the entire tongue-in-cheek part of the humor. In fact, there is an entire part of the story where Nick accuses Juliet of only treating him like an object or an accessory instead of a person. Helloooo? Am I the only one who got the joke? Maybe.

Accessorized Nick is not amused.

Juliet is a strong sexy female protagonist. Is she overly sexualized in the game? Maybe. It is possible to unlock many "sexier" outfits for Juliet that push the limits of objectification. Remember the Jessica Nigri debacle at PAX East 2012? Her pink "outfit" was one of the unlockable costumes from Lollipop Chainsaw. I didn't know that at the time, and I'm pretty sure no one else did either, especially since the game had yet to be released. I guess my point is, that the game designers designed a sexy character, but she's tough, clever, witty, and caring. She feels like a real person, not a caricature. She has moments of imperfection, and moments when she is vulnerable without coming across as weak. That is something I don't see a lot of in female protagonists in games, and I'd like to see more. Are the skimpy costumes necessary? No. But, if you're a guy/girl who is playing this solely to watch a sexy blond run around in revealing attire, that's cool but I think you're missing the point. I may have just opened up a whole can of worms, but it's out there internet, bring the pain.

Bring it.

So, after that little diatribe, what is my rating? Overall, I really enjoyed the game. It was entertaining.  It has a decent replay value with the online leader boards and trying to unlock all of the unlockables, plus it's great for a quick way to release some aggression after a bad day. Even though some of the game mechanics feel a little clunky and/or sloppy, it's not a bad game, it just feels like the release may have been rushed before getting out all the kinks. I enjoyed playing the game. I would recommend buying it used or renting, but not shelling out $60 for it.

I give the game 3 out of 5 severed Nick heads

And Now For Something (Almost) Completely Different

You guys saw The Hobbit, right? And then you totally read my review, right? And then you totally watched the video I posted of my buddies, Vash and Justin reviewing said movie, right? Well, this has nothing to do with The Hobbit, but it involves an entertaining video. Yay!

Justin and I were neighbors in college, so we've been pals for a while, and he is probably one of the best buddies you could ask for. He's also super smart and has a deep love of film. And then there's Vash. Vash is opinionated, silly, and crazy talented. He also tends to dislike lots and lots and lots of things movies. He's, well...particular in his tastes.

Anywho, they were kind enough to invite me on the show for one of their "Classics" episodes, where we reviewed a classic movie. Since I was the guest, I chose to watch and review the Nintendo vehicle of 1989, The Wizard.

So, without further ado, I give you one of (hopefully) many videos coming at you from lil' ol' me, Jess GurlNxtDoor and Gurl on Girl-Gaming.  Enjoy!

 

Look for Vash and Justin on their YouTube channel, follow them on Twitter, or Like them on Facebook!

The Tax Man Cometh (and Other Bullshit)

So, tomorrow is Tax Day here in the good ol' U.S. of A. Did I just remind you? Do you need to go do your taxes super fast instead of reading this? Go ahead. I'll wait.




Oh good, you're back!


So, if you were following my ridiculous bird saga over the past few weeks, you might be starting to wonder if I'm alright in the head. Truthfully? Not quite. I've been stressing lately about life. It happens. But lately, it's been affecting my writing. At night as I'm trying to drift off to sleep a hundred ideas and nagging thoughts about writing and making the blog better and other creative awesomeness swirl around in my brain. Maybe I jot them down, maybe I don't.  But then every time I sit down at my desk to actually write I start to have those feelings of failure, and those nagging voices saying "you should have done this already now it's too late, you suck" creep up and I question everything about myself and my decisions in life. It always feels so much easier to curl up and lose yourself in a game or a good book than to think about the shit hole that you fear your life is slowly becoming. 

This is starting to sound a little Doom Cloud-y and actually, I don't know if I'm in a place where I want to share this right now. I just knew I needed to start writing something. Um...ta da?

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, if taxes or birds or other crazy shit has got you down right now. You are not alone. WE are not alone, you guys.


P.S My thoughts on Harvest Moon: A New Beginning are coming, I promise! I want to make sure I unlock everything before completing and posting my review. Also, gotta make sure ye olde brain is ticking away properly too. But that's another story...

Mystery Solved!

Remember how my mom sent me a mystery present? The mystery has been solved! No thanks to the mailman, I got my Easter present today. I deliberately didn't leave my couch all day just like every other day so as not to miss the mailman. However the jerk decided it was less work to not ring the bell to give me my package and instead left the little "sorry we missed you" slip. You sonofobiitch!

I noticed around 4:30pm this afternoon that the mailman had yet to deliver my present, since he usually comes around 3pm (It's amazing the things you learn about day-to-day life when you are unemployed play video games like it's your job.) I put on shoes and a coat and jogged to the post office. (I do not run. I only run to catch a train/bus, or if a zombie or knife-wielding clown is chasing me. No running.) Thankfully I got inside in time and waited on the always-long line to pick up my stuffs. I wanted to complain that our mailman didn't ring the bell, but the man behind the counter spoke very broken English and looked like he gave negative shits about his job, me, or my problems. So I got my stuff and went home.

Anywho, the mystery is solved! So, what was only half-perishable and creative and fun and not chocolate or candy? My mom sent me a guacamole kit complete with fresh avocados and even that cutesie Easter basket grass! Yay! Oh and also chocolate. (Did I mention how crafty and like The Riddler my mom can be sometimes?)

Boom Riddled.

Thanks, Mom.


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