Memory Lane Monday: Tits & Ass, Blood & Guts, and Rock n' Roll (Some Spoilers)

(Note: Honestly, I was really having a tough time trying to get this review to feel right. I wasn't even sure if I had anything new to say about this game that wasn't already out there. It also didn't help that I was about 6 months late to the party -an eternity in tech and gaming time- but I guess that's a nice thing about my reviews; I'm not beholden to anyone but me. I don't have to feel influenced by anyone. I don't have to write a review for anyone but me. I like to take my time with a game and put my thoughts out there. I've been sitting on this review forever, mostly just out of personal insecurity. I received this game as a Christmas present -just in time for me to miss the Valentine's Day Edition- and completed the main storyline in less than a week. It's a quick play-through, but this review was killing me for some reason. So, sorry it's late if you were looking forward to reading it. But it's here now!)

Lollipop Chainsaw was released for PS3 and XBOX 360 in June of 2012. Me, being the poor-ish and slightly unemployed person that I am did not get a chance to play the game until several months later. Nonetheless, I shall tantalize your eyeballs with my magical words and opinions. You're welcome.

The main storyline of Lollipop Chainsaw follows our young heroine, Juliet. She's your all-American girl: she's spunky, she's clever, she's athletic, she loves lollipops -oh yeah, and she comes from a family of zombie-hunters. We meet Juliet as she is waking up and getting ready for a typical day at San Romero High School where she is also a cheerleader (duh, I said she was all-American) and it also happens to be her birthday, and she's meeting her boyfriend, Nick (he's like, totally on the football team, you guys) in the park so he can give her a birthday present. The day starts out normally enough with Juliet riding her bike to school (she's totes Eco-conscious) when suddenly, there's an outbreak of zombies right in front of her school! OMG you guys!  Thankfully, Juliet is always prepared and has her trusty chainsaw with her in her gym bag, and she's going to give those zombies what for! 

This is seriously the least pervy pic I could find in relation to this game.

During the prologue, you learn the basic mechanics of combat as Juliet chops her way through the school parking lot to get to Nick before he's attacked. Unfortunately, Juliet is too late and Nick is bitten on the wrist right in front of her. As Nick lays dying in Juliet's arms, Juliet casts some special zombie-slayer magic and (in one of the funniest cut-scenes in the game) separates Nick's head from his infected body. Thankfully, the magic worked and Nick has been saved...sort of. He is now only a head. But, he is a living breathing head, and not all gross and zombie-fied, and that's all that matters to Juliet. Together-(ish) Juliet and Nick must fight their way through the school and the rest of the town to stop the ultimate evil from ruining the world.
  
The game-play itself is your traditional hack-and-slash with the addition of several (required) mini-game sections in each stage of the main story line to sort of add variety to all of the aforementioned hacking and slashing.The game has some RPG elements to it in that you can level up Juliet by purchasing permanent power-ups and new attack combos at the Chop2Shop.zom kiosks that are rare, but sprinkled throughout the world. You pay for things by (how else?) killing zombies and collecting the coins that fall out of their decomposing bodies.

I really liked the comic book style of the game design, it makes the blood, gore and violence (and there is a lot) less icky, for lack of a better word, however, I would still not suggest this game for those with weak constitutions. Speaking of weak constitutions, while the violence didn't really gross me out, there is a level of crudeness in the dialogue and some of the situational humor that sometimes crossed the line for me. Most of the unpleasant dialogue comes from the enemies you are fighting and I understand it's supposed to be edgy and written to sort of egg you on in the fights, but at times, I did feel like it was a little gratuitous. I'd rather not list specific examples here as I'd like to keep my blog as tasteful as possible, but let's just say that in playing some of the boss fights in Lollipop Chainsaw, I acquired many new vocabulary words that I am afraid to Google the definitions to, but -with context clues- I'm pretty sure I can figure them out on my own. That all being said, Juliet and Nick have some of the funniest dialogue in the game even when it gets up there on the rude/crude gauge. I definitely have to credit a lot of the funny factor of the Juliet/Nick dialogue to Tara Strong and Michael Rosenbaum because they are hilarious and awesome at what they do.

Video interviews with Tara and Michael here

While Lollipop Chainsaw is as funny and entertaining as a hack-and-slash game can be without feeling repetitive, there are definitely some game-play design flaws that tripped me up. The chainsaw is an awesome weapon with seemingly endless combos to unlock, and the game designers thought outside the box when designing the chainsaw and the upgrades for it. At one point in the game, the chainsaw can be upgraded to the Chainsaw Blaster which is exactly what it sounds like: a chainsaw shotgun combo. The Chainsaw Blaster is useful for dealing with far away enemies and flying (yes flying) zombies, it is also rather unwieldy. I'm the first to admit that FPS are not my strongest suit, but the blaster's aiming is clunky and frustrating to use even if you turn off the auto-aim feature. Also on the topic of clunky and frustrating, the camera angles you can use in the game are obnoxious and without an auto-center option, there were a couple instances of rage-quitting for me simply because I couldn't see what I was doing. Combine that with the suddenness that the cut-scenes often occur, and with how short the game as a whole is (only 6 stages) it feels like the game was rushed. I could forgive the game being so short if a couple of the stages didn't feel so repetitive (stage 2 is borderline boring, and it's the part of the game that garners the "drug reference" warning on the Mature Rating label.)

Doesn't stop people from buying it

The game holds mixed opinions for me as far as quality goes, gathering from various blog posts and articles I read about the game, Lollipop Chainsaw definitely produced some mixed opinions elsewhere. I even read a blog accusing the game of touting itself as female-empowering while being disguised as misogynistic and degrading. While, I can see where this blogger may have reached this conclusion -and they have every right to express that opinion- I have to respectfully completely disagree with them. Is the game sexual? Yes. Is it violent? Yes. But is it misogynistic? I didn't feel so. Misogyny is a word I feel like gets thrown around a lot by people who don't necessarily know the definition of the word. Misogyny, in a nutshell, is the hatred or dislike of women/girls simply because they are female. It can be classified as the objectification of women or the dislike of women simply because they don't conform to certain expectations. So, I have to wonder if people who played this game and still cry misogyny actually played the whole game or if they just completely missed the entire tongue-in-cheek part of the humor. In fact, there is an entire part of the story where Nick accuses Juliet of only treating him like an object or an accessory instead of a person. Helloooo? Am I the only one who got the joke? Maybe.

Accessorized Nick is not amused.

Juliet is a strong sexy female protagonist. Is she overly sexualized in the game? Maybe. It is possible to unlock many "sexier" outfits for Juliet that push the limits of objectification. Remember the Jessica Nigri debacle at PAX East 2012? Her pink "outfit" was one of the unlockable costumes from Lollipop Chainsaw. I didn't know that at the time, and I'm pretty sure no one else did either, especially since the game had yet to be released. I guess my point is, that the game designers designed a sexy character, but she's tough, clever, witty, and caring. She feels like a real person, not a caricature. She has moments of imperfection, and moments when she is vulnerable without coming across as weak. That is something I don't see a lot of in female protagonists in games, and I'd like to see more. Are the skimpy costumes necessary? No. But, if you're a guy/girl who is playing this solely to watch a sexy blond run around in revealing attire, that's cool but I think you're missing the point. I may have just opened up a whole can of worms, but it's out there internet, bring the pain.

Bring it.

So, after that little diatribe, what is my rating? Overall, I really enjoyed the game. It was entertaining.  It has a decent replay value with the online leader boards and trying to unlock all of the unlockables, plus it's great for a quick way to release some aggression after a bad day. Even though some of the game mechanics feel a little clunky and/or sloppy, it's not a bad game, it just feels like the release may have been rushed before getting out all the kinks. I enjoyed playing the game. I would recommend buying it used or renting, but not shelling out $60 for it.

I give the game 3 out of 5 severed Nick heads