My Meniscus and Me

So, this story doesn’t have anything to do with gaming, really, but it affects me, so I wanted to share, and hopefully we can all laugh at my pain together. Like most gamers (or anyone who owns a gaming system, really), when something upsets me or I’m injured or don’t feel well, I want to lie around on the couch and play video games (or sleep). However, since I am slightly injured right now, but not so injured that I can stay home from work, I am currently at work and writing is my only means of escape at this time…plus if I’m typing away at my computer, I look busy (shhh don’t tell).

Last night I had to get an MRI (that's Magnetic Resonance Imaging for those of you who don’t watch House) on my left knee. It was scary. It’s the 2nd MRI I’ve had in my life, and the first time was horrifying (more on that at another time). I’m the host to all sorts of fears and phobias and general “weirdments” (yes, it’s a word…well, it is now) including ye olde claustrophobia. In case you don’t know, there are fewer things that are panic-inducing in me than being strapped to a table and pushed feet-first into a scary dark tube and being told not to move (because if you move, they can’t get a clear image and thus, this terrifying procedure lasts that much longer). I’m just glad I read this today and not last night.


(Yes, I'm pushing 30, and yes, Perry the Platypus accompanied me into my MRI. Don't judge me, it was SCARY.)

Why did I need an MRI? Apparently my knee is just fucked. Seriously, I don’t know what’s wrong with it, but I’ve been in pain for close to a month now, they have to bring out the “big guns” and look inside me instead of just guessing. So far I’ve been “diagnosed” with a sprained knee, a strained knee, tendonitis, a cyst, and a torn meniscus. None of which have been confirmed, and nothing I’ve done has really made me feel any better. I’ve bought 2 different braces for support; I ice it multiple times a day, and have taken so much Naproxen that I’m amazed that my insides aren’t slowly bleeding out. What’s almost worse than the pain is talking to acquaintances about it. I like to think I’m fairly well-adjusted and social for a geek (we do have a stereotype of being awkward, no?) but I do also suffer from some chronic anxiety and minor agoraphobia. So social interactions have become stranger as I’ve gotten older. I want to believe that people are well-meaning and good-intentioned, but unsolicited advice is just that, unsolicited and often-times ridiculous. (So don’t do it.)

Here is how a typical interaction with any acquaintance has gone for the past month:

Acquaintance: Hey, Jess, are you limping? What happened?

Me: Oh, yeah. I don’t know, I hurt my knee somehow, just waiting to see what the doctor says.

Acquaintance: What did you do? Did you fall?

Me: No. I don’t know what happened it just hurts a lot.

A: Do you run?

Me: No. (Anyone who knows me should know that, no, I do not run. I loathe running. If anything, I try to avoid running if at all possible ever since gym classes in school for probable psychological reasons. I refuse to run unless it is in an emergency/life-or-death situation. I don’t even own a Wii Fit, Move, or Kinect.)

A: Oh, well are you icing it?

Me: Yes, multiple times a day.

A: Well that’s good. Oh, have you tried..?(insert some random homeopathic ancient practice/remedy here)

Me: No, I’m just waiting to see what the doctor says before I do anything else. Thanks…um, see you later.

Long story short, I don’t know what I did to my knee, and I’m really tired of it hurting (and this was so much funnier in my head last night after leaving the imaging clinic). I want to go home and play Red Dead Redemption. Was this all TMI? I hope not, because we haven't even scratched the surface of my medical history! But, again, that's for another time. I don't want to scare anyone away. Hello...?