My Mom is The Riddler of Gift-Giving: A Semi-Easter Post

I want to preface this by saying I love my mom, she's pretty cool. We don't have a perfect relationship, but what family has that? My mom likes to send me gifts for various holidays (Valentines Day, Easter, Halloween, Flag Day, etc.) she's cool like that. While I love getting presents in the mail, my mom will often either tell me so much information about a present that I can pretty much figure out what I'm getting before I get it, or she will give me such a vague description about what she' sending me that I am completely baffled and occasionally slightly concerned. 
Especially, when we have phone conversations like this one: 


Mom: Oh, and I sent you an Easter package in the mail today. Now, I hope it gets to you soon because it's perishable.

Me: (Thinking, "awesome it's probably chocolate.") Aw, thanks mommy. I'll keep a look out for the mail man.

Mom: It's not chocolate. I didn't want to send you a bunch of candy because I just sent you some for  Valentine's Day.

Me: (Slightly disappointed that I would have to now go buy my own candy, and also starting to wonder what "perishable" means if it's not candy.)  Oh. That's ok, mom, you can always send us candy. We like candy!

Mom: Well, I don't want to just send you candy in case you're trying to lose weight. I don't want to encumber that.

Me: (Staring to wonder if I do need to lose weight.) Uh, that's ok, we don't eat a lot of candy, so it's ok for you to send us that on special occasions. 

Mom: I know, it's just hard, I try to find creative gifts to send you. So hopefully this will get to you soon and won't spoil. It won't be anything gross or smelly when it gets to you, but part of it might be a little mushy. But don't worry you can throw that part out if it does spoil when it gets to you. I just wanted to send you a complete gift.

Me: (Starting to really wonder.) Um...ok...thank you?

Knowyourmeme.com

 Seriously, I have no idea what to do with this information. 
Here's what I know:
-My mom has sent me a package with an Easter gift inside of it
-Part of it is perishable and may possibly be mushy when it arrives
-The gift would not be "complete" without said might-be-mushy-when-it-gets-here part

Whaaaa?

More as this story develops...

Memory Lane Monday: PAX East Edition

I'm still recovering from my epic weekend of gaming nerdy awesomeness, since it's almost 6pm right now, so I don't actually know if this post will be up before midnight to technically still be a "Monday" post, but we'll see. I have a pounding headache, my knees hurt, my feet hurt, my shoulders hurt, my back hurts, my throat hurts, and I am experiencing some "Post Pax Blues" as I've discussed in the past. Otherwise, I can't complain. I had a really fun weekend with Boyfriend and our friends.

Last year I made a couple of Chirpify stories to condense my PAX East experience. This year I'm trying out Storify instead; it's less clunky and easier to share.  Unfortunately, now that I've spent almost 2 hours trying to document all the fun stuff I was a part of, I realized that it would have been more organized and easier to just write a summary of the weekend. Le sigh. So, here we go pour votre plaisir:


 






Are you kidding me?!?!?!??! For some reason the whole thing won't fit on Blogger. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARwghgjhdgfgdfl.urhkkjvbf!!!! 

 Brain  now equals melted.


Just go read it here: 

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It's My Nightmare (UPDATED...lots)

You guys know I have a totally healthy fear of birds.  Well the creepiest of creepy New York birds, the Mourning Dove, has decided it likes my bedroom window sill.

See, it's waiting for you to die so it can "mourn" you with it's dead soulless eyes.

I woke up one morning last week to the sound of what I thought was an owl. I immediately freaked out. Of all the birds that scare me, owls are the most terrifying.  (And the most terrifying of owls is the Barn Owl.)

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Seriously. Look at that shit. It's the thing that births nightmares.

I jumped out of bed and went to the window. I couldn't see any critters, but I could hear the incessant cooing/hooting. I went to the kitchen where Boyfriend was up and making his breakfast. I asked him if he was hearing what I was hearing or if I had finally gone completely mad. He said he was definitely hearing an owl. We looked out of every window but couldn't see anything. Boyfriend determined it was on the roof and went back to what he was doing. I refused to give up that easily. Finally, I spotted them. They were not owls, but a pair of Mourning Doves. Scary Mourning Doves. They were hanging out on our bedroom window sill. I went to the window and banged on the A/C unit and the window until they flew away. Unfortunately, they've been back every day since. It's my nightmare.


UPDATE: 3/19/13
They built a nest, you guys. Shit.

Now that the birds have built a nest, they're going to lay eggs. Nooooo! Now I can't scare them off, but I also can't scrape the nest away because my fear of birds is now battling my inner respect and love for living creatures. I'm the weirdest Druid ever, you guys.

UPDATE: 3/26/13
The nest is empty. It's a PAX East miracle. But now I feel sort of sad. What happened to the birdies? Did some tragedy befall them? Did squirrels attack?  Did it get too cold for them? I'm equal parts relieved and melancholy about it. Hmmm.

Weirdest. Druid. Ever.

Seriously.

UPDATE: 4/1/13

It's baaaaaaaaaaaack.  It's back and it's LOOKING AT ME!!!!

Worst. April Fool's Day. Ever.

UPDATE: 4/10/13 

Ok, now I'm really really torn. We're having a pretty big thunderstorm tonight, so I peeked out the window to check on the bird. It's gone and so is the nest. 
Now I'm really kind of sad, because It was all vibrating and stuff yesterday like it was laying an egg. I wasn't excited about having to wake up every morning to the sound of terrifying (and slightly ugly) peeping baby birds, but I feel sad that the storm blew away the nest or scared off the bird. I'm concerned about it.
And yet I fear it.

Seriously, just revoke my Druid card now. 

UPDATE: 4/11/13 (Last update, I swear)

If you follow me on Twitter, you will know that you can disregard that last update. I discovered that the bird and nest were perfectly fine and intact on the window sill after I  peeked out of our window this morning. Boyfriend and I were up very early to attend a friend's out-of-state graduation ceremony, which actually turned out to not be until NEXT week (of course we didn't learn this until after we'd already driven the 175 miles to get there, but I digress.) 

But the bird is ok. Yay.

Let the conflicted feelings continue...

Memory Lane Monday: I Was on The TVs Again!

Does anyone watch SMASH on NBC? *spit* 

Anyone? 
Anyone? 
Bueller? 
Frye?

(Yeah, me either.)

Anyway, I did background work on an episode of SMASH in October of last year and it aired last week. Yay! It was a long day of shooting and standing around in a hot room doing nothing, but it was a ton of fun too. I got to actually meet and have a conversation with Sean Hayes and he is delightful! He introduced himself to me and the other actors near him in the scene and was so funny and super fun to work with.

Boyfriend edited a little video compilation of me in the scene, complete with narration from my squeaky sick voice. Yay!
Not as exciting as my Person of Interest episode, but still fun. Enjoy!

Memory Lane Monday: I Actually left the House Last Week (And Look What It Got Me) UPDATED

Last week I got to meet/see Jenny "The Bloggess" Lawson again. She's on tour promoting the paperback release of her book Let's Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) and her second stop was NYC last Wednesday.

 The best part of seeing Jenny again is she looked and seemed very healthy and less anxious plus she remembered me from last year! I told her that I had cried like a baby the first time I met her and had asked her to sign my giant anti-anxiety medication pill bottle on her book tour last year and she remembered me! Yay! I also was happy to tell her that I have a much smaller pill bottle now and rarely need the pills.  She helped me with that. Boyfriend came with me this time and he was bummed that he forgot his Geek-A-Week card for Jenny to sign. But amazingly after he told her, she pulled out a whole stack of them to sign and give out!!! Double win!

I got choked up telling Jenny how I cried last time, but I didn't sob like I did last year. I'm growing, you guys!!! So, leaving the house and buying a paperback copy of a book I already own and love (and read twice) in hardcover was totally worth it.

Jenny's totally worth it.

I left the house again last week! (That's twice for those of you keeping score.) Boyfriend's friend Blake, who is a musician had 2 extra tickets to see Bernhoft (don't worry I hadn't heard of him either) at Joe's Pub in Manhattan. My first instinct when asked "do you want to go to a concert?" was no. But, I'm trying to be more like Lucy on The Big Bang Theory who suffers from social anxiety and is trying to do things that scare her to help. So while my first instinct was to not go to this concert, Boyfriend showed me one of Bernhoft's videos:

 

And yes, he is this amazing live. So, leaving the house: worth it. 
I'm making a small collection of reminders of why it's ok and/or awesome to leave the house. Gotta gear up for Boston.


UPDATE:
So one reason it's crappy to leave the house: I have come down with what Boyfriend and I dub the "Jess Plague" it's some sort of virus that likes to attack my oral cavities making my throat/tonsils and lip swell up. Thankfully there are no canker sores on my gums this time so I can actually eat. But as long as I get this sickiness out of the way this week, it's all good. Because PAX East is next week!!!! Get ready for it.

Confession: I Have an Addiction



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Gamers and nerds tend to be very passionate people, non?  We tend to become obsessed with things that others find a little out of the ordinary. Some of us might also be on the spectrum to varying degrees, which can give reason to our oft obsessive nature, but it doesn't make us any less passionate about what we love. It's because of these passions that border on obsessions that can often cause us to unintentionally alienate ourselves.  But when does passion/obsession get out of control?  When does it dangerously dance on the line that leads into addiction?  Does your passion change the way you interact with the world around you? Does it affect your relationships with others?  Does it consume your thoughts and make it difficult to accomplish simple tasks?  Then you might be an addict.

I may be an addict.  I may have a problem.  


I may be obsessed with The Sims.

Yes. You read that right. The Sims. 
I know I'm not alone in my addiction. I know you other addicts are out there. We are not alone! But, am I alone in playing too much Sims to the point where it colors my brain in my daily activities? Like, am I the only one who starts to picture plumbobs above other people's heads? Or starts humming the game's musical interludes to myself? Or starts zoning out when someone is talking to me and all I hear is Simlish? Or plans out my Sims' day when I'm not even at home playing? Or pictures my own "bladder" bar turning green while I'm peeing? Was that TMI? Maybe. Yes?

Don't you dare type Ctrl+Shift+C: move_object  you perv. (Sims Social)

My Sims obsession started with the original PC game from Maxis (remember them? Me either.) I got Sim Theme Park and my sister got The Sims for Christmas 1999 from our aunt -the original gamer in our family. Note that I did not receive The Sims as my gift (a fact my sister loves to remind me of any time I bring up the game.) For whatever reason, my mom's computer didn't have enough RAM to run the coaster game if Sims was installed. Psh. The 90's.  So, I was frustrated with my game lag, and in a fit of rage one night uninstalled it and decided to play my sister's game. Because I needed to game, you guys.  After the tutorial, I was hooked. I was obsessed. The graphics, the humor, the sandbox style was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. I was in love. If someone had picked on me or upset me at school, I could rush home and make a Sim of them and ruin that Sim's life. It was the greatest stress relief ever. If I had a crush on someone, I could make a Sim of them and me and we could be in love and live happily ever after. Not the healthiest of choices, but it could've been worse, right? I became the resident Sims expert in my circle of friends (and by circle, I mean 2) who also played.

I would play into the wee hours of the morning much to my sister's frustration. She wasn't as avid a gamer as I was. She would play for an hour or so and then go do something constructive else. I built families and interwoven story-lines and epic sagas. The Sims was my story-telling masterpiece. Then, all of the expansion packs came out. I don't think I need to tell you that this only fed my obsession.

Yes, I still own these.

When my parents bought me my own laptop for college as my high school graduation present, the very first program I installed on it when they weren't around was The Sims 2 and all of the expansions. Seriously.  Nothing broke my heart more than when my brand new Dell I bought for myself when I was graduating college would crash any time I tried to play The Sims 2. Infuriating. But then there was hope, The Sims 2 was available on Gamecube. Alas, that game was severely inferior to the PC version. But it would have to do, I had to get my fix somehow. Unfortunately, I had to sell my Gamecube for extra cash before I moved out east. Thus, I had to quit Sims cold turkey. And I lived happily ever after.

Until The Sims 3 was released. Oh. My. God. I worked at a steak house as the daytime  hostess for a couple of years in Brooklyn, and the night hostess was just as obsessed with The Sims as I was. So obsessed, she brought her laptop to work and would play it in the coat closet when it was slow. She pre-ordered The Sims 3 and got the awesome plumbob USB flash drive. I imagine it was like a former smoker being exposed to the best cigarettes/cigars ever with the way I salivated over her game. The only thing stopping me from owning my own copy and plunging head-first back into addicts-ville was my piece of shit laptop would not run The Sims 3. Eventually I escaped that evil place of employment and moved on with my life. The yearning to play The Sims again in the back of my mind.

Cut to late summer 2012: I was in my local GameStop poking around and noticed a used copy of The Sims 3 was available on PS3. And at first I was all

 

And then I was like

And then I was asked to purchase something or leave the establishment. I sat on the idea for a couple of weeks knowing full well I could go into full-blown addict mode. Eventually I decided to risk it and made the purchase. It started off normally enough. Only playing for a couple of hours after work and on the weekends.  But since I lost my job, it got really bad really fast.

The point at which Boyfriend felt he needed to give me an intervention came when he discovered me at 6am one morning a couple of weeks ago passed out on the couch, controller in hand and The Sims 3 on pause. I had clearly dozed off while waiting for my file to save. Also, Boyfriend was tired of not being able to play his games when he wanted to. So, intervention time came last week.

In the form of a new 3DS game! If you're a Harvest Moon fan (and you know I am) and you haven't played Harvest Moon: A New Beginning yet. Get. Off. Your. Ass. It's amazing! I will write a full review at a later time. Whenever I can stop playing.

So short-story-long: The Sims 3 addict am I, but the cure? Get me addicted to a new game. Problem solved! 

A Half-Assed Post

So, this isn't really a post, but since it's the first of the month, I felt I needed to post something. I was supposed to be upstate working on an indie film with zero internet access right now, but lack of inclement weather in the area made it not possible (the film requires snow.) So, now I am at a loss for what to post. I've been sitting here for hours trying to find words to type that someone will want to read. Alas. So, I will give you a friendly reminder that it's only  

20 DAYS UNTIL PAX EAST, BITCHES!!!!!

Are you ready for it?! 
I was born ready.

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