HTML Issues

So, if you're looking at my blog this evening, you may notice that it looks all crazy. Yeah...sorry about that...my bad. I was testing out a new template and realized my HTML and CSS skills are non-existent. All should be looking better very soon. My apologies to your retinas.
mylot.com

Dear Esther ~UPDATED~

Image

Dear Esther,
I have found myself to be as featureless as this ocean…  For once, I agree with the voice; when I peer into the water, I see no reflection.  Lately, the voice has been talking more and more about a serious leg injury, unbearable pain, a life-threatening infection and a quantity of pain-killers that would make even Rush Limbaugh blush.  But the walker plods on without complaint, my steady pace maintained in the face of the character’s laments.  The walker’s footsteps are often silent, and when audible have the regularity of clockwork.  I look down into a chasm, and as the voice fills me in on its significance, I edge a little too close to get a better look— and fall in.

-The Narrator

Last night, Boyfriend and I played Dear Esther. I use the word play very loosely. There is debate among the gaming community as to whether this "experience" qualifies as a "game" since there is actually very little interaction involved. The game is a first-person exploration of an island, underscored with a gorgeous soundtrack by Jessica Curry, and interspersed with monologues spoken by the unseen narrator.  There is no real sense of who you are in the game and there is no real story. The "plot" is designed to be a free-form experience and once the game ends (yes there is a point where you know your game has ended) it is up to the player to interpret the events of the game.

Boyfriend and I knew nothing about the game other than the trailer we'd seen, so I can't say we were completely thrilled with the game right away. It's a digest-what-happened-and-then-form-an-opinion-about-it kind of thing.  Nevertheless, Boyfriend and I enjoyed it overall. The graphics are breathtaking and the experience as a whole, I think, is one every gamer should have. We went through the game in about 2 hours, but, according to the website, each time you play through the game the "narrative" of the spoken letters to Esther changes slightly, so you can have a different experience each time, and possibly come to different conclusions about who Esther is, what the island is, and the relationship between them.

Can I recommend this game? Maybe. If you're the type of gamer who loves the storyline and the characters and the interaction of gameplay, then, you probably won't care for Dear Esther. It's like a visual piece of literature that you're reading out of order. I applaud The Chinese Room and the entire Dear Esther team for releasing a beautiful if not, experimental piece of art that is this game.

I gave Dear Esther 3.5 out of 5. The art and soundtrack were beautiful and haunting, but I don't know that I would consider it a "game" per se. It is an experience that I would recommend simply for its bravery to take a giant leap in an unexpected direction as far as the nature of video games goes.

UPDATE: 3/29/12- I stumbled across this very well-written article about Dear Esther. There are spoilers. You are warned.

Happy Day of Birth, Steve Jobs

You are truly missed, sir.

It's Been An Honor, Mr. Lucas

Boyfriend stumbled across this video last night and we were greatly amused. I'm not sure why it doesn't have more hits. Watch it! Love it. Share it.

Doom Cloud (Updated)

Do you have a doom cloud? You know, that sneaky demon seed in the back of your brain that starts as a small little voice telling you that the world is scary and awful and that you're stuck in a swirling drain of failure that you'll never emerge from. Then it grows and grows until it consumes your entire head and then your entire body in a torrent of dread and despair slowly weighing you down day after day until you feel like you'll suffocate under the pressure of it all. To top it all off the doom cloud rains on you a constant barrage of awful thoughts, feelings, and mental horror shows inside your brain until you feel like you want to pry open your own skull with a claw hammer just so you can dig the bad images and thoughts out of there, like cutting out a cancer.
The helpless hopeless feeling the doom cloud wraps you up in feels like cling wrap squeezing you tighter and tighter until you want to implode, then you can dissolve and melt away and flow carelessly down the swirling drain into the sterile darkness.
A Liminal Perspective illustrated it all quite well:
I want to get angry at the doom cloud. I want to cry about it. I want to want to scream and throw punches and smash breakable items with a baseball bat. But I don't. I can't. The doom cloud has sucked all my feelings away. I just feel blank. Blank and empty and irritable like I'm trying to function on not-enough-sleep. It's like a hangover without the booze. Crankiness and blinding fear swirl around in my brain, fed only by this fucking cloud and my new-found ability to not be able filter any outside audible stimuli. I can hear EVERYTHING! Finger nails scratching a scalp, 4 conversations in various areas of the office, the copier spitting out papers. I just want to sprawl out on the floor in a quiet room and just be there forever.

There are times, in my murkiest moments that I wonder if maybe being temporarily institutionalized would benefit me...Wow, it's really scary to actually see that written down. I've never said it out loud to anyone. But then I argue with myself that people who need to be institutionalized don't usually wonder if they should be institutionalized, right? Then my social anxiety kicks in and fills me with even more self-doubt when I realize that committing myself would require me actually going to a hospital and trying to convince them that I'm crazy enough to need one of their beds for several days. To explain how much that is not going to happen, I will explain this: I'm afraid of getting ill or hurt, not because I would be getting ill or hurt but because I'm afraid of all the ambulance/hospital people staring at me and judging me then rejecting me for not being hurt or ill enough to treat with top-notch care. Am I fucking neurotic or what?

The worst part is having to go to work like this. My office is the kind of corporate atmosphere where people will still come in even if they're barfing up a lung, so my calling in sick due to a bad mental health day would be scoffed at. Every time the phone rings at my desk, I have to take several deep breaths and force myself to answer it at all, yet alone be all perky and bubbly-like so that maybe the person on the other end will maybe choose to not yell at me or be unnecessarily douchey.

No. The worst part is feeling completely and utterly alone and not having anyone I can talk to who understands this feeling. I feel surrounded, yet alone. I know that I'm not alone, though, thanks to some brave peeps out there who understand and remind me that I am, in fact, NOT alone in my suffering. Thank you for your emotional bravery. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to share this too.
Thank you to:
Allie Brosh, Jenny Lawson, Chris Hardwick, thanks for keeping me laughing.
At the end of the day, sometimes the cloud dissipates and I can see and feel and think clearly again.
P.S I promise I'm going to a psychiatrist next week.
To counter-act all that sad, here's a piggie:
Thank you Cuteoverload.com for my daily squeeeeeeeeeee!
UPDATE: 2/27/12-I am going to the psychiatrist this afternoon and I am flipping out!!! But, I promise I'm going to push through it and go to my appointment.
 Update: 2/27/12- Holy shit! I got anti-anxiety drugs! Weeeeeeeeee!

Update: 2/28/12- I went to the psychiatrist last night, she was very low-key and I felt comfortable with her, unfortunately, she doesn't do talk therapy, which is something I think I could benefit from and I know I need to start long-term therapy sooner rather than later, and she agreed that I would do well to seek out a therapist. She wrote me a script and I got it filled last night. On my way to work today after reading an article about malfunctioning elevators (probably not the best idea for someone with an elevator phobia) I started freaking out inside. I tried to comfort myself by reminding myself to breathe and that I had a little tablet to take in case. This just got me more anxious. I'd never taken an anti-anxiety before and the thought of starting another drug freaked me out even more. Oh irony, you cheeky bastard. I sucked it up, popped my clonazepam and climbed in the scary elevator of doom in my building. Shaking like a leaf and trying to breathe and not pass out, I survived the elevator ride up nine floors to my office. After a small emotional breakdown, I got settled at my desk, and that bad boy pill kicked the fuck in. I have never been so high in my entire life! Well, I've never been high at all, not counting the morphine drip I had when I was in the ICU 12 years ago after spinal surgery. I freaked out my poor co-worker a bit being high and very uncoordinated (more so than usual) for about 2 hours, and then I settled down and felt really sleepy for the rest of the day.

Update: 2/29/12-I'm not supposed to take my new meds every day since there is a dependency risk, but after yesterday I almost don't want to take it again, that was crazy! Crazy, and a little awesome. Good news: my anxiety appears to be under control today. Bad news: the doom cloud is taking its sweet-ass time dissipating.

Balls.

My Contribution to the Meme Universe (Updated)

In honor of my two favorite bloggers:



Time at work well-spent.

So...THAT Happened... (Updated)

I believe I have mentioned in the past that I live in New York. More specifically, I live in Queens, in a neighborhood with a growing reputation for being affordable, convenient and relatively safe. There are a lot of young artists/actors/etc who live here (myself included). However, what the neighborhood might not be known for is having a shit-ton of crazy people living here too.


Boyfriend and I live in the least expensive apartment either of us have ever lived in in NY. We've lived in our current place for almost a year and we've come to realize that it is cheap for a reason. I plan to share some other apartment-living horror stories at a later time, but for now, I want to tell you a short tale about an incident from last night.


I may have also mentioned in the past that I suffer from depression and anxiety disorders (as do most creative types, I think). I'm not exactly an introvert, I can be very charming and outgoing in the right situation (aka when I'm in my comfort zone) or after I warm up to my surroundings, but I'm not all up-in-you-face-oh-it's-so-great-to-meetcha kind of gal. Boyfriend is much more of an extrovert than I am, which is why we compliment each other so well. He can coax me out of my "safe zone" and I can rein him in when he gets a little too "out there" or too chatty.


That being said, we live on the fourth floor of a four-story-walk-up (i.e. no elevator, steep-ass stairs) so at the end of a long day at work and a commute home on a crowded train, I still have to haul my lazy ass up four ancient flights of stairs, and I get a little winded and cranky and sweaty.


Winded+cranky+sweaty+social anxiety disorder=panic in the face of strangers


Also, our 3 neighbors on the fourth floor are all crazy, or so Boyfriend has told me, I've never actually met any of them since I'm at work all day. Anyone else I come across in the building we will exchange the socially-acceptable nod or smile and a muttered "hi"-typical New York behavior, and I'm ok with that.



Last night, Boyfriend and I are walking up the stairs, both coming home from long days at work. We get to the top of the stairs and there is a strange woman whom I've never seen before in my life. I don't know if she lives in the building, I don't know if she's visiting. I. Don't. Know. Her.



I nod and smile and turn the corner and go to unlock my door. Boyfriend, having seen this woman before (apparently she's our crazy neighbor who lives across the hall) smiles and says:

Boyfriend: Helloooo!

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hello.
I turn around, realizing she's our neighbor, I smile again and before I can even think to say hello, she says:

Crazy Neighbor Lady: (To Boyfriend) You know, you're wife isn't very friendly. You're friendly, I like you. But she's not very friendly at all.

Boyfriend: (Defending my honor) Well, I think she's plenty friendly, she's just quiet.

Crazy Neighbor Lady: Hmmm...well I don't think so.

I was speechless as the rage boiled up inside of me. Who says that? Also, how dare you talk about me as though I weren't standing right in front of you! I have this to say:


Dear Crazy Neighbor Lady Across the Hall,

I DON'T KNOW YOU!!! We've never met before last night's abysmal excuse for human interaction. I've never seen you before in my life! You know nothing about me and all I know about you is that you dump rat poison pellets in the hallway but refuse to let the exterminators in when they arrive once a month to spray for pests!

W. T. F?!?!?!?

Sincerely,


The Apparently-Rude-Girlfriend Across the Hall




P.S You're crazy



P.S.S We're not married.


In fact, in honor of my hero, I am tempted to leave these in front of Crazy Neighbor Lady's door:

Or this:

Mortal Kombat of Love (Updated)

I believe I have already made it known that Boyfriend is awesome. Whenever I think he can't out-do his awesomeness, he goes and surprises me. Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I totally forgot. I didn't remember until I realized that 50% of the men I passed on the street were carrying flowers of one kind or another (mostly roses, though).

Now, starting when I was a teenager, I found Valentine's Day annoying and trite (yes, I'm one of those people). To me, it's sort of just another day, like Groundhog Day or Flag Day; if someone wishes me well on that day, I will appreciate it and smile and return the sentiment, but listening to the women in my office squealing and going nuts over flowers and candy and teddy bears is irritating when I'm trying to concentrate at my desk or talk to a customer on the phone. However, unlike when I was a teen, I no longer parade this indifference around and wear it like a badge on my sleeve. I just sort of ignore the "holiday" that is Valentine's Day. If you make a big deal out of V-Day, good for you, I wish you well and a happy day, I just don't like it all up in my face all day.

I'm a firm believer in celebrating the ones you love every day, not just one day a year because the calendar tells you to and it's what is expected. Boyfriend and I tell each other that we love one another every day (sometimes it's sickening, I'll admit it). He also knows that I don't expect him to make a big deal out of the day, and he doesn't expect me to do anything too over-the-top. Nevertheless, I wanted to do something to make him feel special yesterday because he does so much for me every day (more than he probably realizes). I went and found a sort-of-mushy-I-love-you card and thought about getting him some candy. But then I remembered that Boyfriend is currently 1/3 of the way through his 90-day workout/diet plan to get into shape, and I'm very proud of him and how committed he's been to it, so I didn't want to bring temptation into the apartment with candy in a heart-shaped box. So I got him lower sodium beef jerky. Nothing says Happy Valentine's Day like a bag of beef jerky (except maybe this...eew).

When I got home, he was waiting for me at the door with a single rose and an adorable video-game-themed valentine he bought from an awesome independent designer on Etsy (take THAT Hallmark, you will have none of Boyfriend's money)! I was quite impressed with his ability to take a common V-Day gift and put his own spin on it. It made me feel all warm and gooey inside and special that he made that little extra effort plus he supported an independent artist. This is why I love him. If our relationship was Mortal Kombat of Love, he would totally be winning.

Friendship Fatality?

Adventures in Job Applications (A Cover Letter) ~UPDATED~

UPDATE: 3/26/12-I did actually send this cover letter in an e-mail to Vox Media in February, but never heard from them.  I figured it was safe to post this on my blog now seeing as how it's almost April, and the odds of them giving me any response are slim.

I just submitted my cover letter to Vox Media. They sent out an online recruitment call a couple of weeks ago for their new gaming site. After days of pondering and researching and trying to find the right words, this is the cover letter I came up with and sent them:

Dear Creators-of-Awesome at Vox,

I hope I am not too late to express my interest in applying for an available position with your company. As I’m certain you already gleamed from the subject line of my e-mail, I am a passionate artistic blogger and an obsessive gamer. I’m a well-rounded nerd, and eager to increase my knowledge and experience in the growing gaming industry. I would love to do all of that with the creative minds at Vox.

Instead of badgering you with inflated tales of what a stellar specimen of a human being I am, I will let my blog speak for itself, so you may draw from it what you will.

I would be grateful if you will take a moment of your time to view evidence of my potential as a desirable addition to your company by way of my blog, Gurl on Girl-Gaming. Please find the requested links to my work below:

Nerdlesque

Uncharted 3 Review

NYCC Day 3

I sincerely look forward to your reply.

Respectfully,

Jessica "GurlNxtDoor" Ayers

Hopefully this will make an impression at Vox, enough to make them want to interview me and then I'll make them love me-wow them with my awesomeness and they'll say, "How did we get through life without this girl working in our company?!"  Hired!

That's how it'll all go down.

Until then, I'll just keep blogging.

The Superbowl

I went to a Superbowl party tonight, it was fun!

The Giants won.

The End.

Nerdlesque VIII: The Fast and the QWERTYest: Another Nerdy Review

Put on your Cylon best, pull up your Superman under-roos, and strap on those thigh-highs, it’s time for Nerdlesque! (Also, put on your skinny jeans and ironically thick-framed glasses, we’re going to Williamsburg, kids.)


I attended Nerdlesque, in its eighth incarnation, Saturday February 4th, at The Brick Theater, located on Metropolitan ave and Lorimer Street in Williamsburg, a neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY. In case you’re unfamiliar with Williamsburg, it is located at the corner of the Pretentiousness Turnpike and Ironic-is-the-new-black Avenue. It’s a magical unholy hip place where I play my favorite game: “Spot the Hipster Doppelganger” Within the first 5 minutes of being in Williamsburg, I saw Hipster Amy Farrah Fowler and Hipster Wayne Campbell.

The theater is a bit tricky to find if you don’t know where it is (very chic mystérieux) but once inside, it was everything I could have really hoped for in a burlesque space. The box office and bar function as one and a velvety black curtain separates the house form the “lobby.” The Brick lives up to its name with the exposed red bricks on every wall in the black-box-style theatre space. It’s cozy, but the house can, surprisingly, hold approximately 50 audience members (provided a handful of people don’t mind sitting on the floor on the faux-fur rugs at the edge of the stage: Tres bohemian).
My friend, Ginny Gems, got us on The List for the show; Boyfriend was their last-minute-replacement cameraman so the dancers could each get a copy of their dance, and I was invited to support Ginny Gems, but also to enjoy myself and blog about the awesomeness that was to ensue. Being on The List, I got to go into the theater before the rest of the audience and to my delight, got to pick my seat AND got to sit and watch the College Humor guys interview the two Nerdlesque hosts, Makin’ Whoopee and Dick E. Lovejoy. Now, I will display some journalistic integrity here and wait before the College Humor interview goes online before I comment on it, but it was interesting to watch.

Overall, I had a swell time! The jackass sitting 2 seats over from me (since no one wanted to sit next to the girl in the pork-pie press hat scribbling furiously into a notebook) acted like he owned all the space in our aisle. Aside from him, the crowd was very well-behaved, or I guess I should say not well-behaved, since you do want whoopin’ and hollerin’ at a burlesque show.

Ginny Gems, the kitten for the evening, opened the show with a simple removing of her jacket and revealing her corsette. It was a subtle sign that the show had begun, and I’m pretty sure half of the audience missed it (this being a geeky/nerdy sexy fun time in Williamsburg, most people had their faces buried in their smart phones or other gadgets).

Our lovely Emcees, Makin’ and Dick E. entered next with a short, barely-scripted Skyrim cosplay/parody which concluded with a spirited nerdy striptease (probably the best way to start a show entitled Nerdlesque). Speaking of silly fun and nerdy, all of those words described the first dancer of the evening: Alice McCoy. Her “nerd-left-to-her-own-devices” lip sync act to Katy Perry’s “Firework” was hysterical. It was the perfect combination of absurd, joyful, entertaining with a dash of sexy for some spice-everything you want burlesque to be.
Following Alice McCoy was Iris Explosion and her Flash dance (no not the 80s movie). I don’t want to give anything away in case any readers get to see this act in the future, but her use of humor, music, and props (plus a little help from Ginny Gems to start the act) was just fantabulous!

After Miss Iris Explosion came a double boyesque (also sometimes known as burleyesque) act: Jonny Cochring and James Van der Pen (pronounce peen, “the e is hard”). James and Jonny’s act started off with good ol' goofy nerdy awkwardness but as the crescendo in Florence and the Machine’s Dog Days Are Over swelled, the act ramped up the sexiness factor, while still keeping a lighthearted feel. Very classic boylesque!
The lovely and stoic Stella Chuu was my favorite performer of the night (and not because she bared the most skin out of everyone). Some very carefully-placed pasties and choreography were all that separated her from us. Her beyond-sexy portrayal of Rei Ayanami from Neon Genesis Evangelion was a perfect combination of geeky and seductive.

The headliner for the evening, Miss Coney Island 2011, was Bea B Heart, who swooped ominously onto the stage dressed as Jean Grey/Phoenix from X-Men (the comic/cartoon, not the movie). It was clear right from the get-go that she is a seasoned burlesque dancer. Her moves were very precise and crisp, but still gave the feel of being spur-of-the-moment. Her act actually reminded me of Demi Moore from Striptease, and was more classically bawdy burlesque than some of the morwe playful acts we’d seen that night. Bea B Heart means business.

After the show, I got to sit down with two lovely ladies, Iris Explosion and Stella Chuu for a quickie impromptu interview. They were kind enough to bear with me while I tried to write down everything they said short-hand. They were kind enough to answer my questions in between shouts of success or groans of defeat coming from the game of strip Operation happening on the theatre stage.

Me: Where did your name come from?
STELLA CHUU: Chuu is spelled c-h-u-u and its like “chuu” (said in high pitched girlie voice while miming blowing a kiss). It’s kiss in Japanese. And Stella came from a song called Stella about a hooker from downtown. It’s sung by Ida Maria.
IRIS EXPLOSION: I don’t really have an exciting story about mine. It just clicked.
SC: It clicked and BOOM!
IE: Right! Exactly. It just exploded.
Me: What made you first want to get into burlesque?
IE: Well I had just graduated from NYU with a BFA in theatre and then I realized I just like getting naked in front of groups of people and maybe I should just do this and make a go of it.
SC: I had a friend I was working with at the Molly House-
Me: The Molly House?
SC: Yes, the Molly House, it’s a Victorian brothel interactive reenactment improvy theatre group. We all dress in Victorian garb and show the nape of our necks. (Laughing while running her hand down her neck) And my friend did burlesque at D20 and was like you should totally come. I saw Hazel Honeysuckle for the first time and my jaw dropped to the floor.
Me: I’ve heard of Hazel, but I have not seen her.
SC: Oh!!! You have to go!
IE: It’s worth every penny.

Me: What other troupes have you worked with?
IE/SC: D20, storybook burlesque (audition show next Friday)


ME: Do burlesque dancers also have reels like actors?
IE/SC: oh yes.
IE: Most competitions don’t take nerdy. [burlesque]
Me: Really?!
SC: Yeah competitions are more about classic.
IE: Not a lot of characters in competitions.


Me: What is a big misconception you think people have about burlesque that you want to set straight?
SC: There are a lot of misconceptions, mostly people think it’s stripping; it is stripping but it’s more than just that.
IE: I think the biggest misconceptions are mostly about the audiences. People think there big burly men, and we sometimes get burly men-
SC: (laughs) Yeah sometimes.
IE: And while there are a lot of guys who come to our shows, the biggest audience is women. It’s mostly women who come to see burlesque.
SC: Yeah we get all kinds, couples but a lot of women. Also, we don’t do this for the money.
IE: No, it’s very much a labor of love.
SC: It’s expensive too. Most of the costumes you see the dancers make themselves. Pretty much all of what you saw tonight was handmade.

Me: I’m sure you get asked this all the time, but how do you get the pasties to stay on?
SC: Pastie ta-
IE: No!!! Magic.
SC: (laughs) Oh that’s right, magic.
IE: Yes. Magic. Magic and fairies.

A special thanks to Stella Chuu and Iris Explosion for sitting down to talk with me after the show, I know you ladies were tired. A super special thanks to Ginny Gems for getting me in to the sold-out show. I was, quite frankly, intimidated to sit down with dancers. They were both quite lovely and gracious and very passionate about their art. This encounter with them only fueled my interest in burlesque. Maybe, I will actually kick my anxiety disorder in the face and get up on a stage in my superman under-roos and dance my heart out...or at least start by attending a burlesque class. Baby steps. Baby steps.

P.S I bought my Cylon t-shirt from HerUniverse. Go get your own!

P.P.S In the spirit of full-disclosure, HerUniverse did not pay me to advertise for them, I just love Ashley's stuff. But they $hould!

Nerdlesque

Tonight I'm going to see me some burlesque! Nerdy burlesque. Nerdlesque, to be precise. I am quite excited! I've only been to one burlesque show, which I'm sad to say, because New York has an abundance of burlesque-viewing opportunities (we have a burlesque school here, even). The one show I've seen, I really enjoyed, even if it was in the seediest/scariest bar I've ever set foot in (but that's another story).

In case you don't know, burlesque is a performance art that is seeing a renaissance. It's a variety show, also involving the classy removal of clothing in front of an audience. Tres sexy.

Ever since my first attendance at a burlesque show about a year ago, I've been trying to learn more about it. I'm on the New York School of Burlesque's e-mail list hoping that one day I will get up the nerve (and the money) to take a class. I also buy British burlesque publications (it's huge in Europe), and I recently just purchased the Burlesque Handbook, written by the New York School of Burlesque's head mistress, Jo "Boobs" Weldon. I'm quite excited to read it!

So tonight Nerdlesque is on and I plan to enjoy it thoroughly. Check back tomorrow (or the next day in case I'm too hungover/sleep deprived to post) for my review! I'm thinking of wearing a fedora with a little press tag in it. It'll be great!
Stay tuned for my review!

Nerdlesque VIII: The Fast and the QWERTYest
Brick Theater (575 Metropolitan Ave., Brooklyn)
11pm
$10

CNN Has a Geek News Blog?

Um...so yeah...that happened. No offense, but when I think of breaking news in the nerd community, CNN is not my first thought. I go to G4 or Topless Robot or , at the very least, the Twittersphere (do people still call it that or am I getting old?). I kind of think CNN is just jumping on the "geek chic" "nerdy-is-the-new-sexy" bandwagon with this one.
I stumbled upon their "nerd blog" when trying to look for the awesome video below to add to a blog post:




CNN was listed as one of the sources that had the video. Say what-now? They posted about how it's just exploding in the geek world. While I'm happy they included an interview with the creator, Aaron Sims, as I'm all for him getting as much attention as possible (because his video is amazing) I just feel weird about getting my nerd news from CNN. I just can't take them seriously anymore. It comes across as "hey parents/non-nerds here's what all that there nerd-speak means." Their articles are written like hipster term papers. (Hipster Term Papers is the name of my Velvet Underground cover Band)

I especially can't take CNN seriously after the whole Anderson Cooper/Spiderman wtf-is-happening-piece on New Year's Eve. Anderson Cooper is a studmuffin-dreamboat, but...Ugh...I was mortified to live in a world where that video existed.

Maybe I'm being too hard on CNN, maybe my blood sugar is just low and I need to eat and it's causing me to sort of turn into a troll...my bad...or maybe we should all just point and laugh at CNN.

Oh good, my food's here!





P.S Look how productive I've been this week! 3 blog posts in 2 days!!! See how much I get done without those pesky "real job" duties getting in my way?

Cover Bands

A conversation I just had with Boyfriend:

Me: *sigh* I want cookies...and chocolate...and ice cream.

Boyfriend: Well then go buy some.

Me: Nooooo. It's cold out. But I want them *mumble mumble mumble* Stupid cold...no money...stupid period...being imminent...craving chocolate...*grumble grumble* PERIOD IS IMMINENT RAAAAAAAARGH!!!!

Boyfriend: Imminent Period is my Joni Mitchell cover band.

Thank you, Paul & Storm...this is my life now.

Writer's Block, Anyone?

I realize I'm late to this party. These ridiculous memes are everywhere and I see them on the Facebooks all the time, but this one just tickled me. Enjoy.


SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Purple Cold-Weissbier

STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Heaven Kit-Kat

SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season, holiday/ flower)
Autumn Magic-Day Plumeria

CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Honeydew Bikini-bottoms-because-I'm-out-of-clean-underwear-y

HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Bagel Yggdrasil


Don't judge me. I'm fighting off an on-coming headcold and ear infection.