Gurl on Girl-Gaming: Memory Lane Monday: Star Wars and Existential Crises

Last Friday, Boyfriend's good friend and former roommate, Bald Solo, made a whirlwind, 24-hour visit to NYC for a job interview. I was at work all day, so I couldn't join the boys on their fun-filled nerdy boy day in the city, but Bald Solo did bring with him the Star Wars: The Edge of the Empire tabletop RPG! So, Friday night our usual Pathfinder group got together and we had a blast playing through most of the first part of the adventure. I've heard all of Boyfriend's stories about his adventures with Bald Solo when they were roommates together in Brooklyn, so meeting him for the first time was semi-surreal. I'd heard stories about him for 6 years, I felt like I already knew him. But even Boyfriend's stories couldn't capture the magical personality or the epic fanboy-ness of Bald Solo. Seriously, you guys. Biggest. Star. Wars. Fan. Ever.

In our game, I played the "hired gun" character, a Wookiee named Lowhhrick. Since I usually play magic-users and healers in my tabletop RPGs, it was fun to get to play a barbarian/brutish character this time around and be the one who charges blindly into battle, and then kicks ass and takes names doing so. Edge of the Empire was a lot of fun, and since it has pre-built characters and it's own dice-rolling system (dice included) it's a great game for absolute beginners, but it's engaging enough for intermediate and seasoned players alike.

We had a grand old time, and when we called it a night at 2am, we were exhausted, but I left wanting to play more. Playing with Bald Solo as our GM was a blast. Observing his enthusiasm throughout the evening brought me back to my tween years, when I first became obsessed with Star Wars. I was that obnoxious kid in middle school who brought everything back around to Star Wars. I corrected factual /cannon errors in Star Wars trivia games, I was willing to argue to the death about anything involving Star Wars, I even made a Star Wars themed PowerPoint presentation in my computer science class. Yes, I was that kid. But, so were all of us sitting around the table Friday night. I felt a wave of calm. But then, of course it all changed when my crazy brain decided it wasn't providing enough crazy in my life.

After the game, we all said our farewells and see-ya-laters, but watching Boyfriend and Bald Solo say goodbye almost made me tear up. They were such good buddies and two wonderful, giving, sweet, kind-hearted men who obviously missed each other. The idea that Bald Solo might be relocating to the East Coast very soon while we are relocating to the West Coast even sooner almost broke my heart. Thus began my existential crisis for the week.

The reality of moving suddenly became real this week. It's as if it just dawned on me what we would be leaving: everything I've known for the last 6.5 years, great friends, a routine, and a semi-comfortable life. Our life is not the greatest at the moment -few job/money prospects, an asshole landlord, a shit hole apartment, crazy neighbors, a city that's chewed me up and spit me out a few times- but it's a life I know. Los Angeles is a whole new unknown. The phrase that keeps running through my head this week is "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't."

But then it all goes back to Star Wars. Luke Skywalker leaves a place he always complained about, but underneath really loved as his home. He leaves because there's nothing left for him in that place. He goes on an epic journey, an adventure, and eventually finds his destiny, his place in the universe. Maybe this is just my afternoon beer talking, but I'm trying to stay calm and be hopeful that our epic journey across the country (we're driving...did I mention that?) however scary it may be, will lead to something bigger and better.

OMG 11 weeks until we move!!! Now I'm going to go cry anxiously while I start Phase 1 of Operation: Pack All The Things.