You know the demons. The demons that whisper quietly at you from the dark recesses of your brain. They start small and soft, hissing at you that you're not good enough, that you'll never be good enough...whatever "good enough" means. Slowly, (so slowly you almost don't notice) the voices grow louder and louder. There comes a point where the voices grow so loud you can't distinguish your own thoughts from their incessant taunting. The taunting that constantly rings in your ears until desperation sets in and you can think of nothing but making them stop.
We lost a dear someone to those demons this week.
I've deliberately avoided a lot of social media this week. I can't take it. It's too triggering. But in stepping away from the screen, I've had a chance to reflect on my own feelings instead of the "hive mind" that can develop when a high profile tragedy occurs and everyone and their fucking goldfish puts in their two cents.
So, right now, I won't be a 2-cent goldfish. I will say that I'm very sad. I'm also amazed that a person could have such a "spark of madness," such a gloriously infectious personality that he can make people who never met him feel like they just lost their best friend when he leaves this world.
If you're battling those demons or if the media shit-sation this week has let slip the dogs of war inside your brain like it has mine, I want you to know you are not alone. Today I am winning my battle because I'm sitting here writing this. You are winning your battle today too because you're reading this. There is hope for us. There is help. I know sometimes the scariest part is asking for it.
Please use these resources if you need them. You are worth it. You are important.
National Suicide Prevention
Didi Hirsch Suicide Prevention
HopeLine
Thank you, Robin for making the world a better place by being a part of it.
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